Omelets Lead to Purple Wormholes
by Technician Fan
Summary: A girl from the future claiming to be Sheppard's daughter inflicts craziness upon Atlantis. T for language. RM/JK, RD/AB, AB/C, JK/RD, RM/KB, EL/LC, JS/TE bit of a crack!fic
1. The Omelet and the Purple Wormhole

Omelets lead to purple wormholes

Disclamer: sadly we do not own Stargate SG-1 or Stargate Atlantis, if we did there would have been more season and alot more strange occurances to drive the characters batty. also this story would have been part of the show... which its not.

By: Radmoxe

**Prologue: Purple Wormhole**

"In your face!" Amelia said to Chuck when she entered the room.

Chuck looked up from his conversation with Radek Zelenka. "What's in my face?"

"I made an omelet. And I made it right this time."

Sheppard walked into the room just as she said that. "What do you mean you made it right this time? What happened the first time? Or times?"

Chuck looked over at him. "The first time she tried to make an omelet, in seventh grade, we had to buy a new dishwasher."

"A dishwasher? What does a dishwasher have to do with omelets?"

"I don't know, but she managed to blow it up."

"By accident," Amelia added.

"What were you doing with the dishwasher? Cooking your omelet with the heated water in it?" Sheppard asked.

"No, of course not. I lit the stove on fire—"

"And your glove," Chuck interrupted.

"Yes, and my glove, which I failed to notice in time, and I ran over to the dishwasher and grabbed a cup that was full of water and threw it onto the fire. I dropped the glove into the dishwasher and it blew up a few seconds later when I ran down to get Dad."

"How did it blow up?" Sheppard asked with a bemused look on his face.

"I don't know. The maintenance guy said he didn't know either."

Sheppard just stared at Amelia with utter confusion on his face.

They failed to notice Woolsey enter the room. He looked at Sheppard's confused face, Amelia's calm face, Zelenka's curious face, and Chuck's distant face, as though he were remembering something.

"What did I miss?" Woolsey asked them.

They all jumped a bit at his voice. Amelia stated, "Woolsey, sir, you just missed a tragic memory."

"About what, if you don't mind sharing?"

Sheppard snapped out of it. "She blew up her dishwasher! Cooking an omelet!"

"How the hell did you do that?" Woolsey asked.

"I don't know! Nobody knows!" Amelia practically shouted.

Suddenly, the gate swirled open into a _purple_ swirling vortex of doom.

Everyone walked over to the banister and looked in astonishment at the purple wormhole.

"Incoming wormhole, sir," Chuck said, dazed by the purple.

"I can see that, Chet," Woolsey said.

Chuck fought back the urge to punch Woolsey in the face.

"Chet, raise the shield," Woolsey said.

Chuck took a deep breath, his hands balled into fists, and walked over to the control panel. He pushed one of the buttons there, but nothing happened. He kept pushing it but still, nothing would happen.

"Chet, where is that shield?" Woolsey asked, shouting at him.

Chuck continued to push the button. "I don't know! I'm pushing the button but nothing's happening."

"Chet, we need that shield! Who knows who could come through the gate? Now find a way to give me a shield, Chet!"

That was the last straw. Chuck got up, whirled around and grabbed Woolsey by the collar and lifted him two inches or so off the ground.

"Whoa, he's strong," Sheppard whispered to Amelia.

"Yeah, he is, and he's also scaring me," she replied.

Chuck shook Woolsey while saying, "MY NAME IS CHUCK! THERE IS NO CHET! GET THE PICTURE! CHUCK, NOT CHET!"

Woolsey nodded, scared to death, and Chuck let him down.

Chuck took a deep breath and silently said, "That felt good."

As if on cue, as soon as Chuck was finished talking, a figure came flying through the gate. It landed in a curled position on the ground and as soon as it was through, the gate shut down. Woolsey and Sheppard ran down to see what it was.

When Sheppard realized that it was a girl, he called to Chuck, "Get a medical team down here, stat!"

Chuck nodded and contacted a medical team.

Sheppard turned the girl and rolled her over onto her back. He gasped and stood up, knocking into Woolsey.

"What happened? Did she do something to you?" Woolsey asked him.

"No, it's just that something about her seems familiar. I just can't put my finger on it," Sheppard replied.

The medical team arrived then and took her to the infirmary.


	2. Elizabeth

Authors note: We ask StargateFan to please wait until the characters are better developed before FLAMING in a review, Elizabeth is not a Mary Sue, she is not going to be paired with anyone so there for she can't be considered a Mary sue, thank you and shut up.

Chapter One: Elizabeth

"Is she going to be okay?" Woolsey asked Dr. Keller. They were examining the girl from through the glass window on the banister high above the room where the girl was.

"From what I can tell, yes. She just had a few minor scrapes and bruises, but other than that she's in perfect health," Keller replied.

"Can you explain why she came through a purple wormhole?" Sheppard asked from across the room. He walked over to them and looked down at the girl.

"No. She seems to not have experienced any trauma due to the wormhole. It's as if it was any other type of normal wormhole. Rodney might be able to figure it out, though. Have you contacted him about it?"

"Yeah, he, Zelenka, and a few other scientists are looking at the problem. They haven't found anything that could explain this, or any reason why the shield wouldn't work."

"Well, they'll find out why. I know they will. We've had more confusing moments than—" Keller cut short as Woolsey started rubbing his head. "Sir, are you okay?"

He looked up at the two of them. "Yeah, I just have a headache."

"Do you know what caused it?"

"No, but it's nothing serious. It's just a little headache."

"Well it's serious when we don't know if this is caused by being exposed to the girl. Is there anything that has happened to you today that could have caused this?"

Sheppard spoke before Woolsey could. "There was when Chuck shook you today!"

Keller's eyes widened. "What?"

Sheppard looked up from below. "Yeah, Woolsey kept calling him Chet and was screaming at him so Chuck got up and picked Woolsey up by the collar of his shirt and shook him, telling him that his name was Chuck, not Chet."

"That's mean."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly?"

"The only times I've ever remembered that his name is Chuck is when he reminds me. I've always called him Chet, never his real name. I would've done the same thing in his position," Woolsey spoke up.

"Well I wouldn't have!" Keller said, still pissed at Chuck for shaking Woolsey. "Especially to a superior officer!"

"Dr. Keller," Mary, one of the other doctors, said as she came in.

"What is it, Mary?" Keller asked, turning to face her.

"The patient is starting to wake up."

Keller ran down to the room, Sheppard not far behind her. Woolsey ran as fast as he could, which wasn't that fast. Mary passed him easily.

The girl was starting to twitch and was fluttering her eyes open when Woolsey managed to get into the room.

Woolsey got to the bedside as the girl looked around at her surroundings.

"Hello, I'm—" Woolsey began.

The girl interrupted him without looking at him. "Richard Woolsey, I know."

Woolsey, Sheppard, and Keller all exchanged glances.

"Yes, I am. How did you know?" Woolsey asked.

The girl stopped looking around and settled her soft gaze on Woolsey. "I know who all you are. Dr. Keller," she said, her gaze on Keller now. She shifted her gaze to Sheppard and just looked at him for a few seconds before saying, "_Colonel _Sheppard, I presume?"

Sheppard nodded. The door to the infirmary suddenly opened to reveal McKay, Zelenka, Ronon and Teyla. They walked over to the infirmary bed.

They huddled around the girl. Sheppard asked, "Do you know who these guys are?"

The girl nodded. "Meredith, Radek, Ron," she said, going down the row. Rodney and Ronon were confused as she said their… names. "And Teyla."

"Ron?" Ronon asked.

"Meredith?" Rodney asked. "Only my sister calls me that. It's not like I call you… What's your name?"

The girl looked at him for a moment before replying, "Elizabeth."

"Like Elizabeth Weir?" Sheppard asked her.

"No, that's the person I was named after. My mom and dad agreed on the name since they were both good friends with Dr. Weir. No, I'm Elizabeth Sheppard."

Everyone stood there with their mouths gaping open.

Sheppard was pointing at her and trying to say something when Elizabeth said to him, "Yes, Dad, I'm your daughter."

Everyone was still gaping at her, unsure of what to say.

Woolsey was the first to speak after that. "Well, we know where that little smart remark sound comes from."

Sheppard turned to him. "Ha, ha, very funny. This girl can't be my daughter."

"Yes I can, Dad! I'm not from this time period," Elizabeth said.

"You're not?"

"No. I'm from your future. That's how I know all of your names."

"Ron?" Ronon asked again.

"Yes, it's the nickname that me and my half— that Torren and I made for you. You didn't like it at first, but then you got used to it. And since your sister," she pointed to McKay, "taught Torren, Stacy and I, with the help of Lorne's kid, Emily, she kept calling you Meredith so it just caught on."

"Oh, well, okay. Wait, _Stacy_?" McKay asked.

"Yeah, she's your kid. But I can't tell you anymore. It might screw the future up more than it already is. Oh, and there was also Evan and Catta that your sister was teaching."

"Evan?" Keller asked.

"Yes, Amelia's kid."

"And who's kid was Catta?"

"Ronon and his wife's, whom you shall not know right now."

Ronon came as closed to open mouthed as a caveman could get.

"It's okay, Ron. You're probably not together right now anyway, but I'm unsure of it."

"That's really comforting," Ronon growled.

"Aw, Ronon gets a girl!" Sheppard said, making a cute little face. "I'm so proud of you!"

Teyla and McKay laughed. Ronon glared at Sheppard.

"Getting back to _our_ time, Elizabeth, how come the wormhole was _purple_ instead of blue?" Woolsey asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down beside Elizabeth's head.

She gazed at him again. "I bet you all know that even when time traveling, the wormhole stays blue. But in my case, it was purple. It's a bit complicated to explain, and probably only Meredith and Radek will understand. But if I have to, I'll tell you.

"You all know that in order to time travel with the gate, you have to go when there's a solar flare. In the future, Torren and I have established a way to time travel without a solar flare."

"What?" Everyone asked in unison.

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Now, the reason as to _how_ I will not explain, since then you'll end up using it instead of letting Torren and me do that. But that's why the wormhole was purple, not blue. It was pretty much an artificial wormhole, too, and that caused a… well, it caused the purple ness!"

Everyone once again stared at her. She held a calm face and just stared back at them.

Amelia and Chuck walked into the room. Well, Amelia walked into the room_ dragging_ Chuck by his arm.

"Amelia, _Chuck_," Woolsey said.

"Sir," Amelia said. Chuck nodded his head.

"What are you doing here?"

Amelia pushed Chuck forward. He looked back and she urged him on.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down at his feet. When he looked back up, he said to Woolsey, "I'm sorry I… I'm sorry for what I did earlier. It was… not a smart thing to do. I apologize sincerely." He looked at Woolsey with an almost expectant look.

"You're damn right you're sorry! That was one of the stupidest things you've ever done! Don't you know what you could have done to him? What harm could have happened?" Keller screamed at him.

Chuck took a step back and bumped into Amelia. She hid behind him, scared of Keller at the moment.

"If I were Woolsey, I would personally attend to wringing your neck and—"

Woolsey interrupted her. "Doctor, it's okay. I can handle this." He turned to Chuck. "Chuck, you're fine. I forgive you." Keller looked at him with astonishment. He saw her face and added, "Doctor, let it go. He didn't do that much harm. Yes, he did do harm, but not a lot."

Woolsey turned back to Chuck and Amelia, whose head was looking cautiously from around Chuck's back. Woolsey said, "Would you two like to meet Elizabeth?"

Amelia stood out from behind Chuck's back and asked, "Elizabeth? As in Dr. Weir? I thought the mission reports said she died?"

"No, no, it's Elizabeth _Sheppard_. She's Colonel Sheppard's daughter and she's from the future."

"Wow," was all Amelia could say.

"Hello," Elizabeth said.

"Uh, hi?" Chuck managed to say.

Elizabeth gave him a little wave and smiled. He smiled back and gave her a little wave as well.

"Hey, Amelia, you want to know something about your future?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sure, I guess." Amelia and Chuck walked forward and each took a seat at the end of the bed.

"Wait, I need to know something first," Elizabeth said.

"Okay, what?" Amelia asked.

"What is the date?"

"Uh, January 12th," McKay said.

Elizabeth started doing calculations in her head and muttering. She looked back up at them and was about to tell them the 'secret' when McKay started talking.

"I have a quick question before we begin; do you have a family member or anyone else that you look up to named Evan?"

Amelia thought for a moment before saying, "No."

McKay looked a bit confused until Elizabeth said only loud enough for him to hear, "I can explain in a minute."

"One second, I need a drink," Amelia said. She got up and grabbed a plastic cup and went to fill it up outside the room.

"She shouldn't have done that," Elizabeth said.

"Why not?" Ronon asked.

"Oh, you'll see."

Amelia came back with her water. Everyone was staring at her when she entered the room.

She took her seat and asked them, "What do you want? I didn't do anything."

Amelia took a sip of her water as Elizabeth said, "Evan is your son."

Amelia sprayed out the water all over Chuck. She started coughing as Chuck wiped off the water muttering incoherently.

"See? That's why," Elizabeth told Ronon.

When everyone was settled once again, Amelia asked her, "Evan? Why'd I name the kid Evan?"

Elizabeth's face turned sorrowful and she looked down. "You named him Evan after General Evan Lorne."

"_General_?" Sheppard asked.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, he was a general."

"Wait, _was_?"

"Yes, was. We were under attack from the Athosians when he got killed."

"_Athosians_?"

"Why were my people attacking Atlantis?" Teyla asked, frustrated.

"I can't tell you much, but Kanaan caught you doing something that made him pretty ticked and he told ou— your people something about you helping Atlantis make an attack on them and stealing all their prized possessions so he led an attack on Atlantis. We called in some people of the SGC, but anyway, Amelia, you went into labor in the middle of the attack. Dr. Keller was the only doctor there at the moment, but there was no one to protect you. So Lorne and Dr. Lee were keeping away the Athosians. Actually, that's not true. Lorne was doing most of the protecting since about fifteen minutes after the Athosians started charging on you four, Lee was shot down. We thought we had all the Athosians, but we were wrong. One of them was hidden, and when you were in the last few minutes of labor, he shot down Lorne. Luckily, Dad ran into the room and shot him on sight. And that's why you named your son Evan."

Everyone was silent and disturbed by the story.

Teyla was the first to speak. "Can't we stop this war from happening?"

"No. Not if you want to… do something that I can't tell you about," Elizabeth said.

"Just tell us! We'll try not to change what happens anymore than it already probably is going to happen."

"I can tell you some stuff, but not that."

McKay looked up. "Well then tell us the stuff you can tell us!"

Elizabeth sighed. "Not until the time comes, 'kay?"

McKay groaned. "Fine," he stated, his lips puckered.

The rest of them were silent as McKay sulked until Elizabeth yawned and said, "Can I get some sleep now? I've not slept since, like, six days before I left. Torren and I were working on the time traveling unit. It was acting up on us so we worked on it, 24-7." Elizabeth stretched her arms up.

"Yes, you had better rest," Keller said. She turned to the others. "I think you might want to leave. She'll need a lot of rest."

Woolsey nodded and gestured for the others to get up. All but Sheppard said their goodbyes and left.

Sheppard lingered at her side. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked just like the new kid at school.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Sheppard still was loitering around her bedside. He was pretending to look at the equipment around her.

She opened up one eye slightly and asked him, "Is there a reason as to why you're actually paying attention to equipment that you have no idea what is used for or how it's used?"

He looked over at her and shrugged. "Well, I just…. You… I.." Sheppard stopped as he looked for words to say.

Elizabeth waited for him to say something. He looked at her expectant face and shrugged again. Elizabeth's eyebrows arched, and he looked at her with an unknown face.

He walked over to stand right next to her and then leaned forward and enfolded her into a hug. She hugged him back, unsure of what to say.

When he reproached her, he smiled and walked out of the room.

"Night, Dad," Elizabeth called after him.

He turned at the doorway and looked at her. "Night, Elizabeth," he said. He turned around and walked out of the open doors. Elizabeth stared at the spot where he exited, even when the doors had already closed.


	3. Culinary Genius

Disclaimer: We own only the plot of this story and Elizabeth Sheppard

* * *

Chapter Two:  
Cuniary Genius

"Can I leave this place already? I never knew how boring it could possibly be, doing absolutely nothing in this blah place. You should, like, paint it bright pink and bright green! It'll make the patients a hell of a lot happier!" Elizabeth was saying to Keller a few days later.

Keller sighed. "Yes, you're allowed to leave now, and no, we're not going to be painting this place anytime soon. It's against regulations."

"Screw the regulations!" Elizabeth shouted as she jumped down off of the infirmary bed.

Keller rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'll screw the regulations when McKay admits that Carter is smarter than him."

"He does admit that."

"Yeah right!"

"It's true. About a month to two months from now, he admits that Carter is smarter, but McKay can save the day."

Keller gave her a fake glare. "I meant in our time. Anyway, wanna grab some breakfast?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Hey, language," Keller shunned.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes now. "Yeah, whatever."

The two walked in silence to the mess hall.

At the mess hall, they spotted Teyla, Sheppard, McKay, Amelia, Ronon, and Woolsey sitting at the far end table. They grabbed their breakfast and sat down with them.

"Morning," Sheppard said. He tapped his pen against the table, looking at a crossword in front of him. Amelia glanced over at it. She pointed to one of the words.

"Yeah, that'd be Dom."

"That's comedy's DeLuise? I could've sworn it was Peter, David, or Michael," Sheppard said, filling it in. "But of course, none of my answers ever fit."

"Why'd you put fatso for the last name of an non-violent Indian protestor? It's Gandhi, okay, not fatso."

Sheppard turned his head to look at her. "How do you know he wasn't overweight?"

She sighed. "He fasted a lot. I doubt that he'd be fat." She shook her head and continued diagnostics on one of the computer padds.

Elizabeth noticed for the first time that there was no food on the table, other than the pancake and waffle on her and Keller's tray.

"Where's your guys' food?"

Before anybody could answer, some of the chef personnel people came over with slightly steaming plates. Chuck arrived behind them with one plate in his hand. He set it down in front of Amelia.

"Here you go, Mademoiselle, an omelet. Perfecto!" He pulled up a chair between her and Sheppard. The chef personnel people placed the other plates in front of everyone else, excluding Elizabeth and Keller.

"I don't get an omelet?" Elizabeth said, disappointed.

"If I had known you were here, you would have had one, but since you weren't here, you don't get one," Chuck said.

Everyone started taking their first bite of the omelets. They slowly chewed it.

Sheppard looked at Chuck. "Who made these omelets? Cause whoever did is a culinary genius! These things are amazing."

Chuck smiled. "That, my friend, would be me."

"Yeah, right, like you can cook. If I managed to blow up a dishwasher, I want to see what the kitchen looks like," Amelia said.

"Right this way, my lady," Chuck said, getting up and gesturing towards the kitchen with his arm. Amelia got up and Chuck followed her to the kitchen.

"Maybe he spiked these with something, like liquor. Or maybe there are, like, wraith genes in here. Dead Steve soufflé, yum-yum," Sheppard said once they had left.

Everyone looked at him and dropped their forks down onto their plates.

"Gee, thanks for spoiling my appetite," Keller said.

Amelia walked in at that point with an astonished face. "The kitchen is spotless. I can't believe it. Chuck is a culinary genius."

Chuck bowed and said, "At your service."

Amelia slapped his head and sat down in her chair again. "I'm a freaking failure."

"No, you're not a failure. It's just that I'm that awesome."

Sheppard looked at Chuck. "We were all wondering, did you put something in here? Like liquor, or wraith guts?"

Chuck laughed. "Yes, I did. Do you really want to know?"

"Yes!!" Everyone shouted in unison.

Chuck sighed. "Well, the secret ingredient in these outstanding omelets is—"

* * *

**A/N: If you want to give ideas as to what the ingredient is, shoot 'em out! I have one idea, but…. I'll see what you have to say. Input greatly wanted. Please R&R!!!!!!**


	4. The Secrets

Chapter Four:

The Omelets of Doom and Mass Destruction

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except thirteen year old Elizabeth.

A/N: Sorry about how long it took. My computer cord snapped and it took forever to order a new one. Thanks for the ideas of what to put in the omelets, especially Eplon91. THANKS!!!!!!! Oh, and do not try and cook these omelets at home. I venture that they wouldn't taste too good.

"Like I was saying, the secret ingredient to these amazing omelets is-" Chuck cut off when they heard a scream from the other side of the mess hall.

"OMG! There's a spider in my food!" A woman shouted.

"Pull yourself together, dude!" Sheppard shouted over to her. "I'm about to learn the secret ingredient in these amazing omelets and you're interrupting what Chuck was about to say it is! So shut the hell up!" he turned to Chuck. "As you were saying."

"Right, the secret ingredient is actually two things. One of them is tuna fish, and the other is pickles." Chuck said with a smile.

Everyone stopped chewing. "What?" Amelia asked.

"Pickles and tuna fish? Are you, like, serious?" McKay asked.

"Yeah, of course," Chuck said.

"I think I just lost my lunch," Sheppard said.

Elizabeth laughed. "Don't worry, Dad. You make these all the time in the future. I guess now I know why you do this now."

"Chuck has brainwashed me to make these disgustingly amazing omelets?" Sheppard asked.

"Hey, that's kind of hurtful," Chuck said.

"Right, well, uh, I'm gone!" Sheppard said. The rest of them all agreed and left, or at least all of them but Elizabeth and Amelia.

"I don't care what is inside these things, they are amazing and I am going to keep eating them!" Amelia said. She shoveled in another mouthful.

"Hey, Liz, while your dad is gone, do you mind telling me who your mom is?" Chuck asked. Amelia leaned forward with intensity and curiosity.

"I don't know if I should," Elizabeth started.

"I promise not to tell anyone. Amelia does, too," Chuck said.

"Yeah," Amelia agreed.

"Okay, I'll tell you. Don't repeat this to anyone, especially Dad." Elizabeth said.

"We promise. Cross my heart and swear on my mother's grave," Amelia said.

"Very well. Come closer, and I'll tell you," Elizabeth said. She whispered something in Chuck and Amelia's ears.

"HOLY SHIT!" Chuck yelled.

A/N: Well, you like? Take a guess at who the mom is. There are hints throughout chapters one and two. Have fun and please review!!!!!! Oh, and sorry about the short length of it. I had like five minutes to write it. REVIEW!


	5. Lorne's Story

Chapter Five: Lorne's story

Disclaimer: Once again, I only own Elizabeth and Emily and Stacy and all the other future kids other than Torren, cause he's with everything else. Everything else belongs to the writers of Stargate and all those other people.

Chapter Four:

"Teyla? Are you serious?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, she's my mom," Elizabeth replied.

"Elizabeth, you have to tell someone, and soon," Amelia said.

"I can't, okay? They're not together right now and they have to get together the way it was told to me. I can't risk messing up the future more than it's already messed up," Elizabeth said.

"How did they get together in the first place?" Chuck asked.

"All that Dad and Mom told me was that they were looking into each other's eyes and he leaned forward and kissed her and that's when Kanaan showed up and got mad, thus telling the Athosians all that stuff and causing the Athosian war and killing General Lorne. I'm here to prevent that, though."

"Why are you preventing it? Won't that mean that you won't get born?" Amelia asked. "If Kanaan saw Sheppard and Teyla kissing, he then started the war. If they don't kiss and get together, then you won't be created. You will literally cease to exist."

"I found a loophole, but I didn't think it was worth mentioning before, because I didn't want to say too much about the future. You see, if I can either make them kiss before or after the week of February 12th, which was when they kissed, I think I can stop it from happening. Kanaan is supposed to be with Torren and the other Athosians on New Athos until that week, and he was supposed to leave back there after that. If I can get them to kiss some other time and get together, I think I can save everybody's lives.

"You see, after her father died, Emily went . . . wild. Nobody, not even Cadman, could stop her. She finally ended it by jumping off the tower and into the sea," Elizabeth said, looking down in sorrow. "Emily was my best friend, and it tore me just to see that, but I kept it together, because with Torren and a bit of Stacy's help, I knew that I could back here and stop this."

"Why would Cadman be able to stop that? Heck, when did she come back?" Chuck asked.

"I might as well tell you, since you already know everything else. Cadman is Emily's mom, and already came back four years ago. She's back on Earth now, but she's been with Lorne since Beckett died. He was there to comfort her when no one else was, and then they . . . Did stuff and thus Emily is already born. Why do you think Lorne takes a vacation every chance he can? He wants to see his kid and wife."

Chuck and Amelia gaped at her with astonishment.

Amelia's face turned happy though within a few more seconds. "Aw, that's so sweet! They are, like, the cutest couple. So is Sheppard and Teyla. Anyway, who do I get married to?"

Elizabeth bit her lip. "That's one thing that I can't tell you. I'm sorry, but that is beyond confidential."

"I wanna know, though!"

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. You're not with him. Right now, you're supposed to be eight months pregnant, and unless you are really good at hiding it, you're not with him! You give birth in a month, during the war." Elizabeth's eyes suddenly widened in astonishment. "Maybe, well just maybe-"

"Maybe now Lorne won't die because he won't be covering Amelia, so now all that other stuff won't happen!" Chuck said.

"Exactly!"

There was a pause until Chuck spoke up again.

"You know, I think that I'm going to go ask Lorne if he has pictures of Emily. See ya!" With that, Chuck stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

Amelia looked at Elizabeth excitedly. "You know, I still want to know who everyone else goes with."

"Fine, I'll let you know. I shouldn't be telling you, but since you're nice, I'll tell you! Okay, McKay goes with Keller, Woolsey remains alone, VP Carter goes with Jack-"

"You mean SG-1's Jack and Sam?" Amelia asked.

"Yep!"

"Sweet."

"Anyway, I guess I can tell you a big secret that I'm going to get punished for," Elizabeth said, leaning in closer and looking around to see if anyone was listening.

"Tell me! I promise not to tell anyone but Chuck, cause he needs to know everything or he starts to freak out."

"Fine, tell him, but not anyone else. Zelenka, believe it or not, gets a wife."

"Zelenka? Like thee Zelenka? The one that's really weird and has a Russian accent and talks in Russian with McKay pisses him off?"

"Yeah, his wife is—"

A/N: Haha! Another cliffhanger! This never gets old. Try to guess who it is, and if anybody has a better suggestion than the one in my head, I might use it! PLEASE R&R!


	6. Telling Dad

Chapter Six: Telling Dad

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Elizabeth and her future friends, blah, blah, blah. 

A/N: Please R&R!! oh, and sorry if Heightmeyer is spelled wrong. 

WARNING!!!!!!!!!! Spoilers to "Search and Rescue" and "Doppelganger."

Chapter 6

"Yeah, his wife is Dr. Heightmeyer," Elizabeth said. 

"Wait, Dr. Heightmeyer is dead, though," Chuck said. "She jumped off the tower when the dream things were affecting us all." 

Elizabeth sighed. "Well then, now he doesn't have a wife. But you get my point; he had a wife, and would have had a wife, if she didn't do suicide. That's weird, though. Where I come from, Dad stopped her from jumping off and killing herself. Oh well, whatever." 

"Speaking of your dad, why don't you try and tell him about Teyla,' Amelia said. 

"I can't tell him! He'll totally flip out!"

"No he won't. He already likes her," Chuck said. 

"He does?" 

"Yeah," Amelia agreed. "He is so flirtatious with her. And she is back to him, too. It's really cute. Like he was injured really badly, and Dr. Keller didn't want him to go save Teyla from Michael, but he did anyway. Dr. Keller wasn't happy about it, but she let him. He would've carried her, too, but even he knew that was too much of a strain, so he let Ronon carry her. He was so worried about her, though. And he was really upset when he wasn't there when she gave birth to Torren. Instead McKay was flipping out about it, but she still gave Torren the middle name of John. She really does have feelings for him." 

"That's obvious," Chuck said. "And it's obvious that he has feelings for her. So that's why you have to hurry and get down to the gate room before they leave. Run!" 

Elizabeth paused a minute before jumping up and running through the halls towards the transporter. She jumped in and hit the spot where the control room was. It flashed a light and the doors opened up. She ran out of them and into the control room where another technician was dialing up the gate. Six of the chevrons were already encoded. If she was going to do this, she was going to have to hurry. 

Elizabeth ran down the stairs just as the last chevron locked into place. The gate fwooshed forward and then back. Sheppard and the team started towards the open vortex. 

"Dad, wait!" Elizabeth called after him. 

He stopped about a foot in front of the wormhole. Ronon and McKay had already gone through, but Teyla was standing next to him. _Perfect_, Elizabeth thought, _now I can tell them both without having to make Dad uncomfortable telling Teyla._

"What is it, Liz?" he asked her, looking slightly worried. 

"Look, I know this is a bad time, but I was talking to Chuck and Amelia after you guys left, and I told them who my mom was, and they said that I should tell you so I ran down here and now I am going to tell you," Elizabeth said, so fast she could barely understand herself. 

Sheppard seemed to understand, though. "Okay, so who's your mommy?" 

Elizabeth took in a deep breath and blew it out. She started to wonder whether she should tell him now . . . 

"Colonel Sheppard, hurry up," Woolsey called from above. "Your draining ZPM power." 

"Elizabeth, what is it?" Sheppard asked. "Or, who is it?" 

"Just go through, I'll tell you at a better time," Elizabeth said. 

Sheppard shrugged, but you could tell that he was slightly upset at not being told. "Okay, whatever, have it your way." 

He looked at Teyla and they were about to step through the gate when Elizabeth cried out, "Bye Dad! Bye Mom!" 

Sheppard and Teyla whirled around with bewilderment, but they had already passed through the gate and were on their way to M3X-258. Both looked horror stricken. 

The gate closed, and at the same time, she felt pressure lift from her shoulders as she finally told her dad the truth. Now, if only they could make it happen. 

A/N: Well, you like? I know, it's short. I'm getting slightly lazy. But I hope you liked it! Now that you have read it, please review it! For my birthday present! 


	7. The Truth

**Chapter Seven: The Truth**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: Guess what? You got it! I don't own anything except Elizabeth and all that other stuff that I said before. **

**A/N: We are nearing the end of this story, unless I can think of other random ideas to put into it. The final chapter is coming soon, I just don't know when. Please leave a review and any ideas you might have. Oh, and WARNING!!! There are some minor spoilers for that episode in the 2nd**** season that I can't remember the title where Sheppard turns into a wraith. Sorry if I just spoiled that but I can't remember what it was called. Do you?**

**Chapter 7:**

**As soon as the gate closed, it started dialing up again. Elizabeth sighed in frustration and ran up the stairs to the control room. **

"**Unscheduled off-world activation!" Amelia said, who had returned to her post. "Receiving video and audio transmition."**

"**Put it on," Woolsey said, who had suddenly appeared from his office. Sheppard's face appeared on the big screen. "Colonel Sheppard, you just barely left. What is so important that you just had to call us back two seconds after you left?" **

"**Let me speak to my damn daughter, sir!" Elizabeth winced at the anger in his voice. **

"**I'm right here, Dad," Elizabeth said. She walked up to the stand beside Woolsey, who was slightly baffled at the annoyance in Sheppard's voice. **

"**Elizabeth, unless it is my imagination and Teyla's imagination, we thought we heard you say something . . . Peculiar after you said, 'Bye Dad.' Something that sounds a lot like 'Bye Mom.' Is this true, Elizabeth?" He was speaking through gritted teeth. **

**Elizabeth sighed again. "Why don't you just come over here and I can tell you the whole story." **

"**Fine. McKay, Ronon, stay here while I go home and speak to my daughter with Teyla. We're coming over, Woolsey." **

**Woolsey's mouth opened but nothing came out. "Drop the shield, sir?" Amelia asked him. Still unable to speak, he just nodded. She pressed a button and the shield dropped down. "Colonel Sheppard," Amelia said into the radio, "you're clear to come through." **

"**Well then, in that case, I'm coming through!" Sheppard's face disappeared from the monitor and a few seconds later he came through the gate with Teyla right behind him. The gate shut down after they came through. **

**Sheppard immediately ran right up the stairs and faced Elizabeth. He was just looking at her when Chuck ran up the stairs with a picture in his hand. **

"**Check it out, Amelia, Lorne gave me a picture of—" he stopped short when he saw the glare that Sheppard was using on Elizabeth and the startled look that Teyla was giving her. He ran over to Amelia. "Did she tell them about Teyla being . . ." He trailed off, knowing that Amelia could finish what he was thinking. She nodded. He handed her the picture of Emily. She looked at it and they were talking about it so that it wasn't totally silent in the room. **

**Sheppard grabbed Elizabeth's arm, suddenly, and pulled her through the fancy doors of the briefing room. Teyla followed them, looking back before entering the room. **

**Sheppard gestured for Elizabeth to sit down at the head of the table. She sat down and he took a seat to her right, while Teyla sat to her left. **

"**Explain," Sheppard said. **

**Elizabeth folded her hands and looked down at them, explaining everything she had said to Chuck and Amelia earlier that day in the mess hall. **

"**All I really need to do now is get you two together," Elizabeth said slowly after she finished explaining, heading towards the doors, which were opening up. "You already like each other, so I'll just . . . Let you two talk it over, maybe steal a kiss, and then use this big briefing room table thingy as a bed for you two to make out and have fun." With that she jumped out the doors as they started to close once more. **

"**Wait, Elizabeth!!!!!!" Sheppard called after her, but she was already out and away, sealing the doors shut. "Dammit!" **

**Elizabeth skipped over to where Amelia and Chuck were sitting, looking at the picture of Emily that Lorne had given Chuck. **

"**She is so adorable," Amelia said. As Elizabeth looked over her shoulder, she could see the picture more clearly. Emily was sitting on Cadman's lap on the steps of what Elizabeth presumed to be their house. Lorne was there as well, his arm around Cadman's shoulder and smiling at the camera. Emily had Lorne's eyes, but Cadman's hair, which was up in cute little pigtails. She was wearing a cute little pink dress and giggling at the camera, showing off her pearly whites. Elizabeth had seen this picture before; Emily always had it with her. **

**Elizabeth looked away from the pictures and went over to Chuck's laptop and sat down. **

"**Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Chuck asked. **

"**I'm bringing up the security camera in the briefing room. Let's see what Dad and Mom are really up to." With one final click of a button, the screen changed and showed Teyla sitting on the table while Sheppard paced back and forth. "I know they're going to kiss. I can feel it."**

"**It's not their first kiss, you know," Chuck said, pulling up a chair and sitting beside Elizabeth. **

"**Wait a minute, what?" Amelia asked, wheeling her chair to sit on the other side of Chuck. **

"**Yeah, he kissed her when he was turning into a wraith a few years ago. They were sparring and he was going nuts, of course. He was better than usual and he was kicking Teyla's ass, slamming her against a wall and then he kissed her. She gave into it, sort of, from what Sheppard told me."**

"**That is so amazing. It wasn't him, but it was him. Oh, look at them!" She said, pointing at the laptop screen. Sheppard and Teyla were barely a foot apart from each other. After a few more seconds, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. **

"**WHOOOOOOOO!!!" Amelia and Chuck shouted. Everyone in the control room went silent and stared at them. **

"**Hey," Chuck said, "you would be happy too if you even cared. We do, so we're happy. So go back to work before I fire you." **

**Everyone looked for one more second and immediately went back to work. "You can't fire them," Amelia said. She was looking back at the screen of the laptop. **

"**Oh yes I can!" Chuck said. "I am their commanding officer. I will fire them, after speaking to Woolsey about them. They are not working, thus they do not need to be paid." **

"**Uh, Chuck, if you haven't noticed, **_**we're**_** not working." **

"**Yeah, well they can't fire us, so there. Oh my gosh, look at them now. Elizabeth shield your eyes!" He quickly covered Elizabeth's eyes with his hands. **

"**Are they doing it?" She asked them. The answer that Amelia gave her was quite clear. **

"**Can anybody even manage that position?" She sounded horrified yet interested at the same time. That was disturbing. **

"**Oh, sure they can," Chuck said. "I mean, they're in that position right now. Oh, god, that's nasty." Elizabeth heard the laptop shut as Chuck slammed it down with one of his hands. He let the other drop from her eyes and he looked aghast. "Nobody needs to be seeing that." **

**Amelia looked remarkably happy. "Yay! They're together! Do you know what this means?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued. "It means that our many friends don't have to die that died in the war and it also means that Elizabeth won't die! Yippee!!" She leaned over and hugged Chuck, who sat there, baffled as ever. **

"**Choking," he said, "not breathing!" **

**She let go and her face turned slightly pink. "Sorry about that. I'm just so happy." **

"**That might be and understatement." **

**A/N: I know, it's a weird spot to end it, but I want to wait for the next chapter to do what I want to do. Now review, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **


	8. The Party

Chapter Eight: The Party

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but what I said before.

A/N: Sorry it took so long! I've been busy with the rehearsals for my play. This is four days after the end of the last chapter. Sheppard and Teyla are together now, obviously, too. Amelia, Chuck, and Elizabeth have planned a party dance thing and are getting ready for it. So here we go!

"Who are you going to the party with, Amelia?" Chuck asked her. They were sitting in the control room with Elizabeth, not working as usual. Nearly everyone had a date, but a few, including Amelia and Chuck, had no dates. Yet. And the party was in a couple of hours.

"I don't know. Nobody's asked me, and I don't know who to go with," she replied.

Chuck looked astonished. "What are you talking about? Ronon didn't ask you to the party? I thought you two were, like, almost together?"

"He's going with Dr. Keller. She asked him two days ago. Apparently her and McKay are having this huge fight, so they're asking out other people that will make each other jealous. McKay's going with Katie Brown from the botany lab, and Keller's going with Ronon. I don't think he quite realizes that she's just using him. But he's as happy as he can get." Amelia sighed in disappointment.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know. Hey, Elizabeth, did they have this fight before?"

Elizabeth looked over at him. "Yeah, but they resolved it a different way, seeing as I didn't come back in time and help to plan this big party."

Amelia nodded in acknowledgment. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, running unnecessary diagnostics on her computer.

Elizabeth nudged Chuck and leaned forward to his ear. She whispered, "Chuck, you should ask her."

"What?" He whispered back, thinking that he had misunderstood her.

"Ask her! She's upset because her . . . Sort of boyfriend isn't going with her. She doesn't have a date, you don't have a date, so just ask her! It can still be a professional relationship, nothing more." She gestured with her head towards Amelia, sighing again and tapping a few more buttons on her computer.

Chuck sighed as well. "Fine, you win." He cleared his throat and strode over to Amelia. "Amelia," he started. She looked up at him, so he continued. "Seeing as the person you were thinking of going with practically bailed out on you, and since neither of us have a date, would you like to . . . I mean, strictly speaking professionally . . . Would you like to come with me to the party with me?"

She jumped up and hugged him, smiling the whole time. "Yes! I have a date!" She let go of a stunned Chuck. "Strictly speaking professionally, of course." They both smiled. Her face became serious again. "I have to get ready! It's in a couple of hours! Oh my gosh! I'll see you later, Chuck. Bye Elizabeth!" She skipped off towards her quarters.

"See, now you both have dates!" Elizabeth said, standing up and walking over to Chuck, who was still stunned.

"Yeah, but I don't know how to dance."

"I'll teach you. Come on, it'll be fun!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him off to a place where they could practice.

* * * * *

Elizabeth looked in the mirror one last time. She was about to head off to the dance, but was making last minute changes. Her dress was dark purple. It was a tank top with a very small v-neck to it. She knew that anymore v and her dad would shoot her with a P90. The dress flowed down to a little bit past her ankles, which were lifted off the floor by matching, open toed stiletto heels. Her hair was up in a pony tail, but the strands the flowed from it were curled.

She took a deep breath and walked out of her temporary quarters. Walking down to the mess hall, where the party was, she passed other people heading towards the same place.

When she entered the mess hall, she was shocked, despite the fact that she had helped to decorate it. With the dark sky outside, it was totally different. There were different colored lights put in, in a neon pink, green, yellow, and blue color. The tables were put off to the edges, but they still held the food for the party. The fattening food, as Amelia had said. Couples were dancing already to the music, and some other people hung around them, talking excitedly about how great it was. There were decorations hung everywhere; swirls, spirals, some animals, and other random designs.

Elizabeth looked around at the people and found her mom and dad standing off to the side with Torren in Teyla's arms. They were talking to Chuck. Elizabeth wondered where Amelia was. She walked over to them.

"Hey, Elizabeth," Sheppard said. He had his arm around Teyla's waist. They were still going, at least. Teyla was wearing a red dress that was similar to Elizabeth's, but with spaghetti straps instead and a little more v. Chuck and Sheppard looked manly in their tuxedos.

"Hey Dad, Mom, Chuck. May I hold Torren?" Teyla nodded and handed Elizabeth her baby half-brother. "It's so weird not having him be bigger than me." She looked over at Chuck. "Where's Amelia?"

"She's still getting ready. I dropped by her quarters ten minutes ago and she was fumbling around with her hair," he said. He looked around to see if she had arrived and he had not noticed.

"It's a girl thing," Elizabeth said. Teyla nodded in agreement. She had her down and it, too, was curled.

Sheppard, his voice low, pointed to somewhere over Elizabeth's shoulder. She turned around and saw Keller and Ronon. Keller didn't look any different from normal, other than the periwinkle dress that she was wearing. Her hair was down in the same way it always was. Ronon was, surprisingly, wearing a tux. He didn't look that happy, though.

"Dr. Keller's been glaring at McKay the whole night. She won't even pay attention to Ronon. She danced with him once, but kept her eyes on McKay. He's getting pretty mad. I think he—" Sheppard stopped talking and looked over to the right of Keller and Ronon, towards the staircase leading from the control room.

They rest of them looked over and gasped. Amelia was walking down the stairs in a hot pink tube top dress. Her long hair was flowing down to her waist, light waves curving through it. She spotted the group and walked over to them.

"Hey guys!" She said when she got over to them.

"Amelia, you look . . . Well to tell you the truth, you look absolutely beautiful," Chuck said.

"I think that you're not the only one who thinks that," Sheppard said, pointing towards Ronon and Keller again. When Elizabeth looked over there she saw that Ronon was wide-eyed in astonishment at Amelia. He quickly looked away when he saw them all looking at him.

"His loss," Amelia said, shrugging. The music changed to a slow song.

"A dance, my lady?" Chuck asked, holding out his hand.

"I will if you don't ever call me 'your lady' again," Amelia said, taking his hand. They walked out to the dance floor and started dancing.

"Come on, Teyla," Sheppard said, dragging her out behind them. She laughed, following him.

Elizabeth was left alone with Torren. She swayed her hips to the rhythm. Dancing with her big, or in this case little, brother made her feel kind of weird.

She looked around at all the other people dancing. McKay and Keller were glaring at each other while dancing with Katie and Ronon. Lorne was dancing with Cadman, baby Emily in between them. A number of other people were there that Elizabeth almost didn't recognize, including Jeffrey Bishop of the botanist lab, who had a beard, and Mike Harley from the science department, who didn't have a mustache.

Elizabeth heard a sudden crash come from the windows. Glass was flying everywhere. A figure stepped through and she recognized it as the Todd wraith that her dad was enemy/friends with.

"Tsk, tsk," he said, looking around at the baffled people. "A party, and I wasn't even invited."

A/N: I randomly decided to put Todd in. He might not act as he normally would, because of my "special" imagination. Please review!! I'd love it. I'll try and write the next chapter as soon as possible. My play gets put on tonight and tomorrow is the party after it. Maybe Todd will burst through the windows!


	9. Don't Let Drunk Dads Sing

Chapter Nine: Don't Let Drunk Dads Sing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Elizabeth. Canadian Idiot belongs to Weird Al Yankovitch. The Kitty Cat song is owned by Nada Surf, and After All belongs to Cher, Peter Cetera, and the people that did Chances Are, the movie. Sorry if some of the words are inaccurate.

A/N: The play was a success, and there was no Todd, sadly. But it was still fun! So here's the new chapter. I'm hoping to be writing more now that I don't have practices, and I'm hoping for the new chapters to be a bit longer than before. We'll see. Please review!

"Todd, what are you doing here?" Sheppard asked, taking a slightly protective stance in front of Teyla.

Todd laughed his menacing laugh. "I heard there was a party. Word spreads fast. So I thought that I'd come here and party with you. Look, I have gloves on so that I won't eat any of you," he said, holding up his covered hands.

Sheppard sighed. "Fine, you can party with us. But don't expect any of these girls to dance with you! You're not going to get that lucky." Todd laughed again.

The music changed to something more upbeat and people started dancing again, still wary of the wraith. Sheppard walked over to Elizabeth and Torren with Teyla following at his heels. Teyla held her arms out for Torren and Elizabeth handed him over. They walked over to a table and sat down. Chuck and Amelia also went over and sat as well.

"Are you sure we can trust him, John?" Teyla asked him.

Sheppard shook his head. "No, but if we get him drunk somehow, maybe he'll be a bit safer. Anybody want a drink?"

"Sure," everyone else said in unison. Sheppard walked over to the cooler and grabbed drinks for everybody. When he came back he handed a beer to everyone but Elizabeth and Torren.

"You, young lady, can have some punch," he said, handing Elizabeth a cup of punch. She gave a small smile and started sipping her drink.

Lorne and Cadman came over, the latter carrying Emily. "Enjoying the party?" Lorne asked.

"Until Todd showed up, yeah," Sheppard said.

"Well he can't be that bad," Cadman said. Sheppard stared at her like she was nuts. She saw his look and quickly explained. "I mean, I know he is bad. He's a wraith, after all. But look, he already has someone to dance with." She nodded her head in Todd's direction. He was dancing with Katie Brown, McKay's date.

"What about McKay, though?" Sheppard asked.

"Looks like he and Keller stopped fighting. They're dancing together. I wonder where Ronon is?" Amelia said.

"He's coming this way," Chuck said, pointing towards Ronon, who was walking in their direction.

"C'mon, let's dance." Amelia dragged a bewildered Chuck back out.

"Now she's using him," Sheppard said. "Why can't people just get along." He took a big swig of his beer.

Ronon arrived at the table and looked around. "Where'd Amelia go?"

"She's dancing with Chuck out there." Sheppard's words were slightly slurred.

_Great_, Elizabeth thought. _Now my dad is drunk, and it looks like Lorne is, too._ It was true; Lorne was rocking slightly in a drunk motion. _As long as they don't do anything stupid_.

Ronon sighed, sitting in the chair that Amelia was just sitting in. "I was going to apologize, but I guess she's having a better time with him."

"You know," Elizabeth started. "She was kind of upset when you immediately said yes to Keller. You know that she's with McKay, and even though you knew that they would be back together in an instant, you said yes. And now you're dateless."

Ronon sat back in his chair and groaned. He knew he screwed up. Oh well, his loss.

Lorne stumbled over to Sheppard and whispered something in his ear. Sheppard nodded and he stood up. "We'll be back, ladies. We just have to do something." They walked away.

"Oh, no," Cadman said. "They are drunk off their asses and they're heading towards the DJ. That can't be a good sign." She and Teyla laughed.

The music suddenly stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen . . . And wraith," Sheppard said into a microphone. The crowd laughed. "My buddy Lorne and I have a special song to sing to you guys. If you are Canadian, I suggest you leave. That means you, McKay. Mr. DJ, hit it!" The DJ, which Elizabeth recognized as Zelenka, gave a small laugh and pressed a button.

A rock tune filled the room. Elizabeth laughed as she recognized it. "You're right, Laura. This isn't a good sign."

"Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot," Lorne sang into the microphone.

"Don't wanna be some beer swilling hockey nut," Sheppard sang.

"And do I look like some frostbitten hose head?"

"I never learned my alphabet from a to zed."

The crowd laughed with pleasure at the song's words. Even McKay was having a good time. When Sheppard and Lorne were done, the crowd hollered for more.

"Okay, here's another one," Lorne said. He thought for a moment and said something to Zelenka. Zelenka nodded and hit a button on his computer.

A sentimental sounding song started playing. Lorne stepped up the microphone while Sheppard stepped back, wondering what it was. Everyone started to laugh as Lorne started meowing into the microphone.

"I am just a kitten, hardly fit my mittens. Much too small I figure. One day I'll be bigger—" Lorne was cut off when Sheppard pulled him away and told Zelenka to shut it off.

"You're not a kitty cat," Sheppard said, his words slurring again.

"I know I'm not a kitty cat, but it's just a song. Hey, I have an idea!" He said something else to Zelenka. "Babe, wanna join me up here?" Cadman hesitated but handed Emily over to Elizabeth, walking up on the small stage to join her husband. "This one's for you, honey. You'll recognize it, so wait until your cue. Also, this is for all the other cute little couples out there."

"Oh, wait, before you start," Sheppard said. "Don't get divorced! It's a pain in the ass!" The crowd laughed. "Mr. DJ, you can now play it."

The music was melodic and Cadman's eyes lit up. She recognized it, as Lorne had promised. She smiled at him as he started to sing. He was pretty good, too, when he wasn't singing something that was completely crazy.

"Well here we are again. I guess it must be fate. We've tried it all night on, but deep inside we know, we'd be back to set things straight."

"I still remember when your kiss was so brand new. Every memory repeats, every step I take retreats," Cadman sang. She was good, too.

They sang in unison. "Every journey always brings me back to you. After all the stars have stopped we keep coming back to these two hearts. Two angels who've been rescued from the fog. And after all that we've been through."

"It all comes down to me and you." Cadman sang, staring into Lorne's eyes.

"And this is meant to be," they sang together.

"Forever you and me," Lorne sang.

"After all."

About three minutes later the song ended and everybody clapped. Around Elizabeth, couples were kissing; McKay and Keller, Lorne and Cadman, Sheppard (who had gotten off the stage to join her) and Teyla, and some people that Elizabeth didn't recognize. Everyone laughed when Emily hugged Torren.

"Well, that's a wrap everybody," Woolsey said into the microphone. "I hope you had a wonderful night. Let's hear it for our fabulous singers!" Everyone cheered. "Have a nice rest of the night and have a nice day off tomorrow." Everyone started murmuring. "Oh, did I forget to mention? We have another day off tomorrow, seeing as certain people will probably have major hangovers. That and we haven't had a reasonable day off since Dr. Beckett died. But there won't be anymore of those. Good night everybody!"

People started to disperse. Todd left in a stolen dart after saying a quick good-bye to Katie.

"They are so cute together," Amelia said, yawning.

"You say that about every couple," Chuck said.

"That's cause it's true. I'm bushed. See you tomorrow! Oh, and thanks for taking me Chuck." She gave him a quick look before kissing his cheek quickly and waving good-bye.

Ronon glared at Chuck so fiercely that Elizabeth thought that his eyes were going to turn into bullets and shoot Chuck down. Chuck seemed to have noticed, too, because a second after Amelia left, he said to Ronon, "Dude, it's not my fault you didn't take her." Ronon glared a second longer and left. "I'm scared to wake up tomorrow. He's gonna kick my ass."

"Probably," Sheppard said. He had his arm around Teyla, who was also drifting to sleep slightly. "Good night," he yawned, heading off with her.

"I'd better be leaving, too," Chuck said. "You should, too, Elizabeth. You're still growing and you need your sleep." She nodded, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

When she got to her quarters, Elizabeth quickly changed into a pair of pajamas and took her hair out. She collapsed onto her bed and fell asleep quickly.

A/N: I know, weird ending, but the next chapter is going to be fun! I'm thinking of also changing the summary. It sucks. I thought of a better summary, so I'll use that instead. Please review!


	10. Saturday Part One: The Fight

Chapter Ten: Saturday Part 1: The Fight

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Elizabeth.

A/N: Hello! Here's the tenth chapter. It's part one out of two. The second part will be in the eleventh chapter. This first one is about a big fight, as you can tell by the title. A friendly fight, though, and as every good Atlantis episode, it includes Sheppard getting his butt kicked. Have fun reading it!

SPOILER ALERT! There are spoilers for the episode The Prodigal.

"What's wrong with it, Dr. McKay?" Woolsey asked McKay.

"I'm not sure. This isn't exactly my field of expertise. Maybe you should get a technician down here," McKay replied.

"Very well." Woolsey tapped his radio. "Woolsey to Amelia Banks." There was no response. "Amelia, please respond." There was still no response.

"She's probably sleeping. There are other technicians, you know," McKay said.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to get his name right." When McKay gave him a glare he replied, "Oh, fine. Patch me into city-wide."

* * * * *

Lorne swung his Wii remote out. He and Cadman were playing tennis and were currently kicking Teyla and Sheppard's butt. Chuck and Elizabeth were watching intently. They cheered when Lorne scored another point, effectively winning another game.

"Looks like you guys loose again," Cadman said, laughing.

"Watch it, Lieutenant," Sheppard said, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

Woolsey's voice sounded over the intercom. "_Mr. Technician-Guy-that-looks-like-a-monkey-and-whose-name-I-can-never-remember, please report to the control room immediately_."

"Do I look like a monkey?" Chuck asked.

Cadman tilted her head. "Well, in a way, you sort of do. And he never remembers your name, so it's gotta be you."

Chuck sighed. "Might as well go up there and face the rest of my humiliation." He turned around and headed out the door. A few seconds later Amelia entered.

"I heard what Woolsey said," she said.

"Yeah, funny, right?" Sheppard said. "I wonder why he didn't call you first, seeing as he always remembers your name."

"Oh, no, he did call me. I just chose not to answer because I enjoy watching him humiliate Chuck." Everyone laughed. "I know, I'm cruel."

"Care for a round of tennis?" Sheppard asked. "You and Elizabeth can team up. The major and lieutenant can just . . . Relax after all that they did. I have the need to kick someone's ass."

Amelia nodded and Cadman handed her the remote she was using while Lorne handed Elizabeth his remote. After two rounds, Amelia and Elizabeth beat Sheppard and Teyla, with the latter pairing having absolutely no points.

"My own kid beat me," Sheppard said, sitting on a chair in disappointment. "I really do suck at tennis."

"Don't worry, Dad," Elizabeth said, patting his back. "I used to play this game with Emily when she was alive. We were the top players in the whole entire game. I have 3,452 points and she had 4,529 points."

"Wait, when she was alive?" Cadman asked.

"Yeah, she killed herself after her dad died. You couldn't even stop her. Sorry." Emily's parents exchanged worried glances until Lorne decided to change the mood.

"Hey, Colonel, it looks like my kid is better than you, too," Lorne said, laughing. "It also looks like Sheppard can be beat by the average toddler." Cadman giggled.

Chuck came back into the room at that moment. "Did I just hear that Colonel Sheppard was beaten by a toddler?"

"He was technically beaten by Elizabeth, but Emily has more points than her in the future. So Emily has also effectively beat Sheppard at tennis on the Wii, and she's only a toddler, so I said that he was beaten by the average toddler. What'd Woolsey want?"

Chuck sat down in an empty chair. "McKay couldn't figure out what was wrong with something in the control room, so he tried calling Amelia but she didn't answer— oh, and I'm going to kill you for that— so he called me up to fix it."

"McKay couldn't figure out how to fix it?" Sheppard asked. When Chuck nodded, he added, "I wish I had been there to see it." He sighed and turned back towards Elizabeth. "C'mon, kid, let's make this Saturday at least worth it."

"Meaning you want to beat me at something," Elizabeth replied. Sheppard looked at her for a moment and then gave a small nod. "Well good luck finding something to beat me in. You've taught me all your favorite games in the future, and I kicked your butt in all of them; golf, air hockey, ping-pong, pool, croquet . . . You name it." She smiled when Sheppard's eyes opened wide in astonishment.

Sheppard groaned and thought for a moment. "How good are you at horseshoes?"

"Dad, I'm the Atlantis champion. As in, I'm the best, although you weren't the one that taught me that." When everyone gave her a questioning look she said, "Ron— or Ronon, in this case— taught me it. After being taught by you, of course." Her eyes suddenly lit up. "I know what we can do! We did this once when I was, like, seven, but I don't remember it that well, so we can do it now: Leaders vs. Technicians."

"Leaders vs. Technicians?" Amelia asked questioningly. "What would that be about?"

"It'd be you and Chuck against Dad and Lorne. C'mon, it'd be fun. And I would only be the referee, so you wouldn't have to be beaten by me. Please?" Elizabeth pushed out her bottom lip and it started to tremble in the cutest way possible.

"It'd be too easy, though," Lorne said. Sheppard nodded in agreement. "I mean, they're technicians, they don't have that much fighting skill." Amelia held back her laugh at that, and Chuck had to look away so they wouldn't see his face.

"Yeah, kiddo, it wouldn't be fair," Sheppard agreed.

"I think we can handle loosing to you guys," Amelia said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Just let us pick what we do and we'll consider it fair."

"Deal. What did you have in mind?"

Amelia pretended to think for a minute. "How about a regular hand-to-hand combat fight?" Sheppard nodded again. "Best two out of three wins."

Elizabeth squealed. "This is going to be awesome! To the gym we go!"

* * * * *

"Okay, round one. We'll flip a coin to see who goes first on each side. Dad, call it," Elizabeth said. They were all in the gym except Cadman, who had disappeared.

"Tails," Sheppard replied. Elizabeth flipped the coin and it landed on top of her hand. She showed it to Sheppard and Lorne; it was tails.

"Dad's up first against one of you two. Amelia, call it."

"I might as well go with tails, too," she said. Elizabeth nodded and flipped the coin, which landed on the palm of her hand. It was heads.

"Very well, first round, Dad vs. Chuck. Rules are no biting or pulling of the hair. Otherwise, use any means necessary to win. Oh, and do be careful and try not to _kill_ your opponent. We don't want Dr. Keller to have to do work on her day off. Alright, fighters, get ready." Sheppard and Chuck stepped forward on the mat. "On the count of three: one, two—"

"Wait a minute, Elizabeth!" Cadman said as she entered the room. She had a video camera in her hands. She turned it on and pointed it at Sheppard and Chuck. "Okay, now you can proceed."

"Very well. On the count of three: one, two, three!"

Sheppard launched himself at Chuck but Chuck ducked out of the way and grabbed his leg, flipping him to the ground. Sheppard got back up and took a step forward, but Chuck swung his leg around and wiped Sheppard off his feet, spinning him through the air. Sheppard landed with a thud and groaned. Elizabeth went forward to start counting.

"Ten!" She announced. She stood up and grabbed Chuck's arm, raising it into the air. "Chuck is victorious! One point for the Technicians."

Teyla marked it down. The next round was Amelia vs. Lorne.

"C'mon honey, you can do it," Cadman said, pointing her camera at him and Amelia, who were pacing around in a circle. "I'll reward you later if you do."

Sheppard gave a wolf whistle. Lorne glared at him, and in that exact second, Amelia sprang forward and pinned him to the ground. Elizabeth counted to ten and Amelia won.

"Technicians win, two to zero," Elizabeth said.

Lorne and Sheppard exchanged a horrified glance. Lorne looked at the two technicians that usually seemed so harmless. "How did you guys do that? You hit computer keys all day! You're like the cute, fluffy, defenseless little bunny rabbits of Atlantis!"

"Oh, so first I'm a monkey and now I'm a bunny rabbit. Why can't I just be a human?" Chuck asked. Everyone laughed.

"I can explain," Amelia said.

"Oh, please do," Sheppard said.

"I've taken kick-boxing for the past five years. I know how to fight. Didn't Ronon tell you that I saved his ass from Michael's hybrids when they came to Atlantis? They were beating the crap out of him and I was the only other person conscious so I beat the crap out of the hybrids."

"Yeah, and I did wrestling from second grade to about eleventh grade. That and I took karate from fourth grade to eighth grade," Chuck said.

"Why didn't you guys become members of an SG team, then? We could really use people like you," Lorne said.

"We're better working with computers, surprisingly," Amelia said. "I know it sounds impossible, but it's true."

"Let's go do something else, shall we?" Sheppard said. "Something that doesn't include me getting by butt whooped by bunny rabbits, monkeys, and my own daughter. And I happen to have the perfect idea."

A/N: Okay, so there is part one of my two part story chapter thingy. Hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Saturday Part Two: The Water's Great

Chapter Eleven: Saturday Part Two: The Water's Great

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth and all the other future kids, other than Torren. Everything else belongs to Gekko and all those other people that are involved with Stargate. They're the ones making the money, not me.

A/N: So here is part two of the Saturday thingy. Sorry it took so long to get up. My internet was being a butt and not working for some stupid reason. Be warned that it's kind of weird. I wanted to write about something like this for some time now, so I thought that I might as well write it in this.

Saturday Part Two: The Water's Great

"Colonel, don't you think that's a little bit dangerous?" Lorne asked as they all walked through the hallways.

"What do you mean? It's completely safe. Just ask Elizabeth," Sheppard replied, walking into the jumper bay.

Lorne looked towards Elizabeth. She shrugged. "I don't even know. Dad has never, and I mean never in my thirteen years, done something this insane and crazy and stupid. Except for perhaps a couple years ago when he drove a puddle jumper drunk." She sat down in the co-pilot seat of the jumper as her dad took the pilot seat. Lorne sat behind Sheppard as Chuck sat behind Elizabeth and Cadman, Teyla, and Amelia sat down in the back, talking about shoes.

Sheppard turned on the jumper and contacted Woolsey on his radio. "Hey, uh, Woolsey, mind if I take out a puddle jumper with some friends?"

"_I don't mind. Are Amelia and Monkey Boy with you?_" Woolsey replied. Chuck groaned in exasperation and his hands balled into fists.

"They're right here with me, sir."

"_Very well. You have a go, Colonel. Have fun, and try not to blow anything up._"

"I'll be mindful of that, sir," Sheppard replied with a chuckle. "Sheppard out." He flew the jumper out of the jumper bay.

As they flew through the air, Chuck asked, "Is it really that hard to remember the name 'Chuck?' I mean, he can easily remember Amelia, which is longer. He remembers the rest of your guys' names. But no, not Chuck. It's pretty close to Chucky, which is the name of that creepy toy that comes alive or something like that. And, Chuck is half of woodchuck, which is part of that tongue twister thing that Amelia can do."

Sheppard sighed in amusement. "I think he just does it to annoy you. As for the woodchuck thing, can you really do that, Amelia?"

She looked up from her conversation with Cadman and Teyla and said, "The woodchuck thing? Yeah it's really easy. I can say it five times fast." She cleared her throat and said at top speed, "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" She said it four more times at top speed.

Cadman smiled. "Impressive, but can you top this?" She then recited at top speed, "Sally sells seashells by the seashore," ten times.

"You're on, girl," Amelia said. They then continued to say tongue twisters at top speed until they finally arrived at their location.

"Well, kids, here we are," Sheppard said. "I assume you all have on your swimsuits under those BDUs?" They all nodded and he said, "In that case, take off the BDUs while I'll take us up another few feet, and then we'll really enjoy the day off." He took them up a little bit and turned around, looking at everybody. "Who wants to go first?"

"But wait," Cadman said. She was wearing an orange tankini and was standing by the opened hatch. "Who's going to fly the jumper back down for us?"

"I'll tie up a rope to the handle over here," he said, pointing at a handle near the door, "and then I'll just hang the rope down so that we can climb back up." He tied up a rope and dropped it down. He turned back around. "So, who's going to go first?"

Nobody volunteered, so he said, "I can just pick someone out of random, unless one of you wants to volunteer."

"Why don't you go first, sir?" Amelia asked, who was wearing a yellow polka dot bikini. "You're the one who suggested we do this in the first place. You should go first." Everyone agreed with her.

"I don't want to go first. I want one of you to go first. So somebody go."

"You don't want to go first because you don't even know if this is dangerous or not. We might die doing this, and you don't want to be the first to go because the first person to go will be the first to die and you don't want to die," Amelia said in five seconds flat.

"I promise you, no one is going to die. The most harm that will come is a slight burn if you decide, being as stupid as some of you are, to do a belly flop."

Lorne spoke up, "I know Laura wants to go."

Cadman whirled around, her eyes opened in surprise. "What are you talking about? If anyone wants to go first, it'd be you."

Lorne walked towards her, both of them near the edge of the opened hatch. "I'm telling you, don't hide it. You are excited about going first. So you might as well go first now."

He pushed her off the edge. She grabbed onto his arm to stop herself from falling but ended up pulling him down with her. They both fell down to the water and landed with a big splash. They reappeared a few seconds later, Cadman choking out water. Lorne laughed and splashed her. She splashed him back and they continued to laugh and splash each other.

"Hey, Major!" Sheppard called up from the puddle jumper. "Are you alive?"

Lorne looked up. "I'm fine, sir."

"C'mon in, the water's great!" Cadman said from behind Lorne. She pounced on his back and put his face in the water while the people up in the jumper decided who would be the next one to go.

"I'll go," Chuck said. He backed up to the pilot and co-pilot seats and ran out of the jumper, shouting, "CANNONBALL!" He splashed down in the water.

Amelia ran out next and did a flip out of the jumper. Elizabeth followed, nearly landing on top of Chuck. He yelled and quickly swam out of the way before she landed in the water.

Sheppard looked at Teyla and gestured with his head towards the water. She sighed and gave a quick, light slap on his head and jumped out. Sheppard waited until she reappeared on the surface before jumping in after her.

Chuck and Amelia were splashing water into Elizabeth's face, while she attempted to splash them back. Everyone was having fun until there was a huge splash about a hundred yards away. Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"Hey, uh, Colonel," Cadman said. "Are these waters even safe to swim in?"

A/N: Duh-duh-dunnnn! What are they going to do? You'll just have to wait and see. Throw out any ideas you might have. I might use them. I have a special little hint for the next chapter, though: Talent show. If you have anything to help out with my writing of it, please, feel free to just, like, give me an idea of what someone can do.


	12. The Talent Show

**Chapter Twelve: The Talent Show:**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: **_**See other chapters**_**.**

**A/N: This is another thing that I have been dying to write in for quite a while, so now is my chance! Sorry it took so long to get it up, though. I wasn't really able to go on the computer as much as I would've liked. Thanks to Eplen91 and AncientGoddessOfDarkness for your ideas. Yes, Eplen91, they were insane, but that's pretty much what this story is about. Please review after!**

"_**Hey, uh, Colonel," Cadman said. "Are these waters even safe to swim in?"**_

**There was another splash, but this time it was closer. "Get back up to the jumper!" Sheppard shouted. Everyone swam over to the rope and started to climb it. Amelia and Cadman were first, followed by Teyla, then Chuck and Lorne. "Elizabeth, get your ass up there!" **

"**Dad, you're more important right now. Go up there first! It doesn't matter if I die now, because you know everything. You're the one that's important to the timeline. Go, Dad!" Elizabeth said, glancing at another splash that was even closer this time. **

**Sheppard sighed and climbed up the rope. As soon as there was enough room Elizabeth started up it as well. Sheppard climbed onto the jumper. Elizabeth was nearly there when a giant beluga-like creature jumped out of the water and grabbed her leg in its mouth. She screamed. **

"**Elizabeth!" Sheppard shouted. With the help of Lorne, he pulled her up and out of the grasp of the giant animal. As soon as Elizabeth was safely in the jumper, he hit the button that closed up the hatch. "Someone get us out of here!" **

**Lorne jumped up and ran to the pilot seat. He turned them around and flew them back towards Atlantis. **

**Sheppard and Chuck picked Elizabeth up and laid her across one of the seats. Teyla and Sheppard bent down by her head. She was trembling slightly and staring at her leg, which was now covered in blood. **

"**Next time I tell you to do something, do it," Sheppard said fiercely. Elizabeth just nodded in response, too shocked to say anything. **

"**Just a couple minutes till we're at Atlantis, sir," Lorne said from the front of the jumper. Everyone was silent. Amelia, Cadman, and Chuck went up to the front seats, leaving the family behind them. When they arrived at Atlantis, Sheppard grabbed a towel and used it to wrap up Elizabeth and carry her to the infirmary, where Keller was waiting, having already been called by Lorne. **

"**Okay," Keller said, "let's get her under a scanner." She gestured for Sheppard to set her down on the table and he did so. Then her and some other doctors took over and shunned Sheppard and the others out of the infirmary. **

*** * * * ***

**A few hours later, Sheppard went by to visit Elizabeth. Lorne, Cadman, Teyla, Chuck, McKay, and Keller were there. Elizabeth was resting on her bed, her injured leg propped up a bit on a pillow. She smiled when Sheppard entered. **

"**Dad," she said softly. **

"**Elizabeth," he replied. He pulled up a chair and sat down. "We need to talk about what happened." **

"**Dad, I'm sorry. I know that you're mad at me, but hey, it could've been you that got your leg chopped off and then the whole timeline—" **

"**Would've been screwed up, I know," Sheppard said. "But that's not what I want to talk about. I'm proud of you for standing up like that." Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise. "I know, you're alarmed, but in a way, you did the right thing. Just don't ever do it again." Elizabeth gave a short laugh. "Other than the beluga attack, I think that was pretty fun. I'm glad that we have these father/daughter moments." **

"**So am I, Dad," Elizabeth replied. **

"**Let's have one of those father/daughter talks, then. You got a boyfriend in the future?" **

"**Dad, are we really going to talk about this?" Elizabeth asked. **

"**No, I guess not," Sheppard said. **

**Keller leaned forward. "But we are. Spill it." **

**Elizabeth's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Well, yes, I do have a boyfriend." **

"**Ooh," everyone said. Elizabeth blushed even more. **

"**Are you being safe?" Sheppard asked. **

"**Dad!" Elizabeth shouted. Everyone laughed. **

"**So who is it?" Cadman asked, grinning. **

**Before Elizabeth could answer, Amelia walked in, grinning like an idiot, with Ronon right behind her, his face solemn. **

"**Hey, what's going on?" Amelia asked. **

"**We're just about to find out who Elizabeth's boyfriend is in the future," Teyla said. "What are you doing?" **

"**We just came back from lunch. I figured that I might as well check up on Elizabeth while I was in the neighborhood. So who's the lucky guy, Liz?" **

"**His name is Kevin," Elizabeth said, sighing. **

"**Is he older or younger?" Keller asked. All of the other women in the room were leaning in intently.**

"**He's my age. We were born in the same year. He and his sister were born in September and I was born in October, a month early.**

"**Oh, so he's got a twin sister?" Chuck asked. Nobody except Elizabeth noticed, but Cadman's face went pale at that moment. **

"**Yeah, he does. Her name's Jamie." **

"**Who are the parents of these brats?" McKay asked. **

**Elizabeth smiled. "Why don't you just ask Cadman?" **

**Everyone looked over at Cadman, whose pale face was suddenly full of color. She looked down at her hands. But nobody was as shocked as Lorne was. **

"**Honey, what does she mean by this?" Lorne asked, his voice slightly shaky. **

**Cadman didn't look up from her hands. "What Elizabeth means is that the twins, Jamie and Kevin, are ours, Evan. I'm pregnant." **

**Everyone was silent, waiting for Lorne's reaction. "Again?" Lorne asked. **

"**Yes, again!" **

**Lorne's face lightened up. "Whoo! This is great! We're having another baby! Or, babies." He gave a surprised Cadman a tight hug. **

"**Wow, you're taking this better than I thought," she said. **

**Keller looked at McKay. "I guess now is the time," she said. "Rodney, I'm pregnant." **

**It was now McKay's turn to go pale. "What? Are you . . . Really? I . . . That's . . . uh, what I mean to say is . . . That this . . . Really?" Keller nodded. "Well, that's uh . . . That's good news, I guess. I mean, I don't guess that it's good news, because of course it's good news. What I mean is . . ." **

"**Rodney," Keller said, putting her finger over his lips. "I know what you mean." **

"**Oh, good, that's good. Or, uh, that's great. Yeah, really, really great, right? Of course it is." **

"**Rodney," Keller said again. "Shut up." Everyone laughed. Rodney nodded and smiled, giving her a quick kiss. **

**Teyla turned to Elizabeth. "What year was it that you were born?" **

"**This year, as you can tell by the fact that the twins are being born this year."**

"**Oh, well, in that case, I'm pregnant with you, Elizabeth," Teyla said. Everyone smuggled their laughs. Sheppard turned to her with a horrified look on his face. "It's true, John." **

"**Well, damn," Sheppard said. "It was only one time." **

"**That's all it takes, you know," Chuck said. "I mean, on the original Star Trek series, Sulu did it once with this lady and nine years later he found out that she had a kid." **

"**Really? That's quite remarkable," Sheppard said. **

**Amelia suddenly got a smug grin on her face. "Since we're all spilling the news, I guess I might as well tell you all that I'm pregnant, too."**

**Ronon just looked at her. "What? But we never . . ." He glared at Chuck. "You!"**

**Chuck covered his head with his hands. "I swear I didn't do it! Please don't kill me!" **

**Ronon started to pull out his gun when Amelia got up and stood between them. "Ronon, don't! I was just kidding! It's just that everyone else was saying it, so I thought that I might as well say it, too. But seriously, no one is going to get killed. Put the gun away." Ronon glared at Chuck a second later before holstering his gun and sitting back down. **

**The rest of them all looked around the room in their awkward silence. **

**Elizabeth decided to break it. "Hey, I have a wonderful idea to end this beautiful day off! Let's have a talent show! Everyone can show off their talents and all that cool stuff!" **

"**Yeah, what talents? Shooting people?" Lorne asked. **

"**Actually, it doesn't sound like that bad of an idea," Cadman said. "It'd be a fun thing to do. It'd also give us a chance to laugh in the face of them if they suck."**

"**I agree. It sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. I'll talk it over with Woolsey this afternoon," Sheppard said. **

"**Thanks, Dad," Elizabeth said. **

*** * * * ***

**Elizabeth sighed. "Dad, seriously, I don't need a wheelchair!" Sheppard was currently trying to get her to sit down in a wheelchair before they went to the talent show. **

"**Yes you do! You can't just walk there, you know," Sheppard replied, gently pulling her towards the wheelchair. **

"**I could just use crutches, you know. I don't exactly need a wheelchair." **

"**Yes you do. Now get in it before I force you to," Sheppard said. Elizabeth sighed in defeat and sat down in the wheelchair. "Now, can you manage yourself or do you need me to wheel you down there, too?"**

"**I think I can manage, Dad," Elizabeth said sarcastically. She pushed herself along and out the door. "Good luck tonight, Dad!" she called over her shoulder. "Try not to embarrass me too much!" **

**She heard Sheppard laugh at that. She smiled herself and headed towards the mess hall, which was transformed this afternoon to a stage and whatnot by Cadman and Amelia. When she entered the mess hall, it was nearly full. There were just a few seats that were empty. She went over to an empty spot and eased herself out of the wheelchair and onto the seat. She recognized the man next to her as that annoying Kavanaugh person that always fainted. **

**Woolsey appeared on the stage at that moment and tapped on the microphone. "Settle down, everybody." Everyone got quiet and sat down in their seats. "Tonight, we have a very special show for you. Some of your fellow expedition members are going to show off some of their very special talents, or in some cases, not so special talents." The crowd laughed. Woolsey cleared his throat. "Okay, well, uh, the first act we have for you tonight is Lieutenant Laura Cadman tap-dancing to Tea For Two." The crowd clapped and Cadman came out. **

**She tap danced her way through the song and ended with an explosion of colors shooting out from the stage. The crowd cheered. Woolsey came back after she left. **

"**Wonderful job, Lieutenant. Up next we have the wonderful Sheppard the Great and his assistant, Caldwell the Killer." **

**Sheppard and Caldwell walked out dressed in fancy tuxes and top hats. They had some equipment with them. **

"**Ladies and gentlemen, for my first trick for you tonight, I am going to make my assistant, Caldwell the Killer, disappear before your eyes. Now, on the count of three, you will watch as he becomes thin air, or whatever. One, two, three." Sheppard waved his hand in front of Caldwell and he disappeared with an annoyed look on his face. The crowd was silent. **

"**That was a cheap act!" Someone yelled out. "It's obvious that you used a cloaking device on him!" The crowd cheered in agreement. **

"**It's lucky for you, Mister, that I'm not armed right now," Sheppard retorted. Caldwell reappeared and sat down, sighing. **

"**Okay, since that was too much for your heads to handle, I'll have to skip my next one, too. Let me think of one that I can do . . ." Sheppard pretended to ponder thought. While he was doing so, some of the cards from a deck started to fly out towards the audience. Sheppard pretended not to notice. Then a piece of board went flying into the head of the man who had called out the trick earlier. **

"**Oh wait, I am armed," Sheppard said. The audience laughed and cheered. **

"**Very . . . . Interesting, Colonels," Woolsey said when Sheppard and Caldwell finished their act. "Next up we have Dr. Keller playing her harp." **

**Keller came out wearing a toga and carrying a harp. There were a couple of cat calls and wolf whistles from some of the guys in the audience. She went up to the microphone. "This was on a bet, okay? I lost the bet and so I had to do this. I really wouldn't be up here, otherwise." She sat down and started playing the harp. **

**When she was done, Woolsey came out just to say that the next act wasn't to be given away by him. He just said that it was a surprise. Elizabeth gasped at what happened next. **

**Hermiod came out with Chuck right behind him. They were both wearing baggy pants and sweatshirts. They had on shiny necklaces that were much too large and baseball caps that were on sideways. They also had on sunglasses.**

**The music started up, and they started break dancing to it. Hermiod did the worm in the middle of it and Chuck jumped up and down on his right hand. They ended with a big "Wut!" The whole place was stunned speechless before Elizabeth started to clap. Everyone followed in her lead. **

**Hermiod went up to the microphone and said, "Word!" **

"**I'm never going to be able to look at either of them again and see them the same way," Woolsey said. Their was a slight rumble of laughter before he introduced Zelenka singing some Russian song off key. Someone threw a tomato at him when he finished. **

"**Вверните Вас, Вы сукин сын! Вы не знали бы реальный талант, если бы это поражало Вас в лице****!" Zelenka shouted. (A/N: Translation at the bottom) The security guard had to come on stage and drag him off.**

"**That was uncalled for. Up next we have Dr. McKay who is going to get us laughing out of our seats. Maybe," Woolsey said. **

**McKay came out and walked up to the microphone. "Okay, uh, two saltine crackers are walking down the street and one of them was assaulted. Get it? He's a salt cracker and he was . . ." McKay trailed off when he realized that nobody else was laughing. "Okay, uh, two pretzels are walking down the street when they were assaulted." Silence. "Screw you that was funny!"**

"**BOO!" Elizabeth called out. Everyone followed her lead again.**

"**Fine, here's a good one. One time some new marine was walking through the halls when he threw a tomato at Zelenka's face. There, you happy?" Everyone laughed and he exited off the stage. **

"**That sucked, doctor. No offense, but it did. For the last act tonight, we have to go out to the giant balcony to your left," Woolsey said. **

**The crowd filed out. Dr. Brown helped Elizabeth into her wheelchair and helped to wheel her over to the balcony. **

"**So now, here's Major Lorne." **

**Lorne came up and painted a kind of reincarnation of the Mona Lisa by Davinci. It was as perfect as it was going to get in the twenty two seconds that he painted it in. He ended the display with the hit of a button and fireworks flew up to the sky above them. They started to spell out something. **

"**This is a special message from Rodney McKay," Woolsey said. **

**Elizabeth looked up at the first word and part of the second word. So far it said "JENNIFER, W-I-L." After a few more seconds she finally realized what it said: "JENNIFER, WILL YOU MARRY ME?" She looked around the crowd and saw Keller looked stunned. She took one look at Rodney and nodded. The crowd cheered and Keller and McKay kissed each other. **

"**Isn't that sweet? Now, if you will all please listen up," Woolsey said. "Today is not the end of our random festivities. Tomorrow, we are going to have another fun thing that you can enter in if you want; Atlantis Idol. If you want to show off your singing talents, go to one of the technicians in the control room tomorrow and sign yourself up. Other than that, have a good night everybody!" **

**The crowd scattered out and started heading back out to their quarters. Elizabeth stretched out her arms and wheeled herself back to the infirmary to collapse into bed once again after a tiresome day of nearly getting eating by a beluga-looking creature, watching everybody reveal their pregnancy, and watching her dad not only embarrass himself by her as well and then watching Jennifer's reaction to the fireworks. She would call that a day, that's for sure. One thing she tried very hard not to think about, though, was what the next day was going to be like. **

**A/N: I know, weird ending. I couldn't think of how to end it. But whatever. That had to be longest chapter I've written for the story so far! Sadly, though, school starts up again on August 31****st****, so I might not be able to update as much after then. Anyway, thanks to Eplen91 once again. And thanks to the rest of you for reading. Please review now! **

**Translation: Screw you, you son of a bitch! You wouldn't know real talent if it hit you in the face! Or somewhere along the lines of that. We had to look up a translator.**


	13. Atlantis Idol Part One: Guy Style

Chapter Thirteen: Atlantis Idol Part One: Guy Style

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth/her friends. The other Stargate characters belong to Gekko and MGM and whatnot. The songs belong to the following writers, in order from first song to last: Beach Boys, Bob Seger, Sullivan Sir Arthur, Cockburn Bruce, Neil McCoy, Toby Keith, and Kenny Loggins.

A/N: I decided to do another two part chapter thingy. This first part is going to be the guys and their songs, and the second part is the girls doing their songs. I know that it's weird having some of these people singing, but I'm weird, so it works. And by the way, I realize that a lot, if not all, of the characters are totally not acting like themselves, but it's funny, so, here we go! Oh, and thanks to Eplen91 for the idea!!!!!!!

"Okay, Woolsey is such an ass for making everybody come to us to sign up," Chuck said as he and Amelia walked up with their lunch trays to the table that Elizabeth, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, and Cadman, and Emily were sitting at.

"What makes you say that?" Sheppard asked, taking a bite of his food.

"We haven't stopped working for eight hours straight, now. People just keep coming up to us and wanting to be in Atlantis Idol," Amelia said. "And the worst part is that I doubt that even half of them will make it. Woolsey is actually holding tryouts for it. The guys are auditioning in an hour, and the girls will be held for the try outing ness after them."

"Yeah, he has this idea that the guys should go first and the girls second. He says that it helps to cut down the number that are coming up to us, and that it helps things run smoothly," Chuck said. He took a bite of his pancakes. When he swallowed, he asked, "So, Colonel, what are you going to do for it?"

Sheppard gave a slight laugh. "Anything that will help in the 'embarrassing parents' factor."

Elizabeth groaned. "Dad, you are so cruel. This is worse than when you grounded me last year. You took away all my privileges, and it was absolutely mean."

Teyla's eyebrows raised. "You got grounded? What for, dare I ask?"

Elizabeth's cheeks started to turn pink. "Well, you know how overprotective Dad can get. He was spying on me when I was having my first date with Kevin and at the end, Kevin kissed me and he went all macho on Kevin. Scared Kevin half to death, but still didn't drive him away."

"He kissed you on your first date?" Sheppard asked. "When that son of a bitch is born, I swear I'm gonna—"

"Hey, sir, that's my son you're talking about," Lorne said from his spot across the table from Sheppard as he gave Emily a small piece of his bacon. His eyes suddenly widened. "And I just realized something. If Elizabeth and Kevin keep dating in the future, and then they get married, then we'll be related! Oh, god, that's not creepy or anything."

"She isn't getting married. Ever," Sheppard said.

"DAD!" Elizabeth shouted at him. Everyone laughed. Before she could go on, however, a female voice sounded over the radio.

"_Colonel Sheppard,_" the voice said.

Sheppard tapped the radio on his ear. "Go ahead."

"_Sir, the SGC is dialing in in a few minutes. Mr. Woolsey said that he would like you to be present, along with Major Lorne, since you two are the two leading military personnel on this base. Please report to the control room at this time_," the woman said.

"Very well, Techy. Sheppard out." Sheppard got up after cutting off his connection on the radio. "Sorry, folks. The Major and I have to leave. The SGC is dialing in and they want us there."

Lorne stood up and kissed Cadman's cheek and nuzzled his nose to Emily's before following Sheppard out of the mess hall. Elizabeth stood up and decided to follow them.

In the control room, the gate was already getting a dialing in. A blonde technician yelled out, "Incoming traveler! Receiving the SGC's IDC, sir."

Woolsey came out of his office and looked out towards the gate. "Lower the shield."

The shield lowered and a few seconds later Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Teal'c, Daniel Jackson, Vala, and Mitchell stepped through the gate. They all looked back expectantly and two marines came through, each with a firm grasp on the an arm of Todd. The gate shut down as soon as they were through.

Sheppard, Woolsey, Elizabeth and Lorne ran down the stairs, all with a completely startled expression on their face.

"Todd? What are you doing here? Heck, what were you doing at the SGC?" Sheppard asked.

Sam looked at him. "It's good to see you, too, John. We found Todd on a planet on the outer skirts of the Milky Way. We decided to bring him back here for you to deal with."

"How very nice, Colonel," Lorne muttered.

"That and he demanded that he be brought here to participate in your little celebration that you were having," Jack said.

"Like a party?" Vala asked, getting excited. "Ooh, I love parties."

"No, it's not a party," Sheppard said. "It's just a little competition to see who can sing the best. Elizabeth thought of it."

"So it's American Idol?" Teal'c asked, looking as enthusiastic as he could get with his very stoic face.

"No, it's Atlantis Idol," Elizabeth said. "Who will be crowned the best singer in Atlantis?"

"Who are you?" Mitchell asked.

"Elizabeth Sheppard, future daughter of the Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, sir!" Elizabeth said, giving a formal salute. Everyone looked at her like she was nuts. She gave a smile back at them.

"How did you find out about this, anyway?" Sheppard asked Todd.

"I've got people, really. That and I have been sending messages to Katie and when I asked her if she wanted to go on a date tonight she said she couldn't go because there was a singing competition," Todd said.

Lorne leaned in to whisper in Sheppard's ear, "Todd is dating Katie Brown? That is just… wrong in so many ways."

"Just your average Romeo and Juliet," Sheppard whispered back.

"So are we allowed to participate in Atlantis Idol?" Vala asked, a cheesy-ass grin stretching from ear to ear. "We can't have come all this way for nothing."

Everyone looked at Woolsey. He saw all the eyes on him and sighed. "Oh, fine, you may participate. But you have to sign up and audition for it."

Vala laughed. "This is going to be so fun!"

* * * * *

Elizabeth settled into her chair next to Keller. It was the guys' turn to sing their songs tonight. Tomorrow night was the girls' turn, much to Vala's dismay. Keller, Elizabeth, and Vala got to judge the guys, though.

Cadman got up on stage and went up to the microphone. "Shut up!" Everyone got quiet immediately. "Thank you. Now, our first act tonight was a late edition, and it's kind of remarkable that he got in at all, but here he is, none the less. Now, singing Monster Mash is Todd the Wraith."

Todd came out and went up to the microphone. The band started up and he started singing. There were gasps at how great he was at singing. "_I was working in the lab and light one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight when my monster from his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise he did the mash._" Todd started to dance the mash. The crowd laughed. He continued singing and amazing the whole entire crowd. "_Mmm what luck girl in the audience_," Todd sang, going up to Katie Brown, "_would care to dance with Igor? The monster mash is so ghoul. Mua ha ha ha, Muah ha ha ha!_" Todd finished up his song with sinister and evil laughing. The crowd cheered loudly and many of them stood up. Todd took a bow and went to the front of the stage to see what the judges thought of it.

Vala spoke first. "Well, I don't know. You're a very good singer, and it was a good choice of song, but still… it wasn't very… it was okay. I'll give it an nine point five."

"I think you were absolutely wonderful!" Keller said. She looked slightly nervous, as if Todd was going to feed on her if she didn't give him something good for points. "I say ten."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "I say eight and a half. Same reasons as Vala."

The crowd clapped and Todd took one more bow before exiting stage. Cadman came back on. "That was surprisingly good. Now, last night at the talent show, you saw two people break dance. Today, they have decided to go rock and roll with two other people, so here's Chuck, Novak, Marks, and Hermiod with Old Time Rock N' Roll. And I realize that this is guy day, but Novak is only playing instruments, so Woolsey allowed it."

Chuck and Hermiod came on stage with Novak and Marks right behind them. Novak went over to the piano while Marks picked up a guitar. Chuck started singing first:

"_Just take those old records off the shelf. I sit and listen to them by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time a-rock 'n' roll_."

Hermiod went up to the microphone next. "_Don't try to take me to a disco. You never even get me out on the floor. In ten minutes I'll be late for the door. I like that old time a-rock 'n' roll._"

Hermiod and Chuck both sang into the microphone. "_Still like that old time a rock 'n' roll. That kind of music just soothes my soul. I reminisce about the days of old. With that old time a rock 'n' roll_."

Marks started doing his solo on the guitar. The crowd cheered him on. In the middle of the next verse, Novak went over to a saxophone and Marks went to the drum set and they started playing them, leading up to the sax solo.

"_Still like that old time a rock 'n' roll. That kind of music just soothes my soul. I reminisce about the days of old. With that old time a rock 'n' roll_." They ended the song with a big drum solo and the crowd cheered just as loud as they did with Todd.

"That was really great, guys," Vala said. "Nine."

"Wondeful! Ten!" Keller said.

Elizabeth thought about it. "That was really good. And I love that song, so nine."

"Thanks," Hermiod said. "Am I allowed to surf the crowd now?" The crowd laughed.

"That's only at concerts," Cadman said, coming on stage. "Sorry, buddy. Anyway," she continued as the four of them got off stage. "Up next we have our very own General Jack O'Neill, singing about how he is A Modern Major General. I don't know if he's really modern, but we'll go along with it." The crowd laughed and Jack came on stage.

"_I am the very model of a modern major-general. I've information, vegetable, animal and mineral. I know the kings of England and I quote the facts historical, from Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical. I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical. I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, about binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot of news_," Jack half said, half sang.

Sam, who was behind them, leaned forward and whispered, "I doubt that he even knows what he just said. Binomial theorem, equations, he can't understand it when I say them." Keller, Vala, and Elizabeth gave small laughs and continued to listen to Jack.

"_The only thing that I don't get is dialects Ebonical, except they get debated in the San Francisco Chronicle, but still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern major-general_!" Jack finished up his song.

The crowd clapped and laughed with amusement. Jack looked towards the judges and said, "The other thing I don't get is what I just said."

"That's what Sam said," Elizabeth said. "I give you an eight."

"Same here," Vala said. "You don't know what you said, you don't score any higher.

"Eight point five," Keller said. "The point five for your attempt and the fact that it was pretty funny hearing you of all people say those words."

"Thank you, my lovely judges," Jack said, taking a bow not unlike Todd's and exiting the stage.

Cadman came out to introduce the next act. "Next up we have Lt. Colonel Sheppard singing Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

Sheppard came out and said into the mic, "Elizabeth, this is just so that I can embarrass you and cause you to hide your face in shame."

Elizabeth moaned and sank into her seat. "I hate you!"

"Love you, too, Liz," Sheppard said. He cleared his throat and the music began. "_Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad -- other things can make you swear and curse. When you're chewing life's gristle, don't grumble -- give a whistle -- and this'll help things turn out for the best and always look on the bright side of life._" There was a slight pause as he started to whistle. "_Always look on the bright side of life._" He whistled again. "_if life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten -- and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps, just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing_."

"Dads really are embarrassing, aren't they?" Vala said quietly to Elizabeth. "I never really liked my dad."

Elizabeth nodded. "He's just doing this cause he knows that it annoys me." Vala laughed.

They turned their attention back to Sheppard. "_Always look on the bright side of death_." Whistling. "_Just before you draw your terminal breath_." Whistling again. The crowd was starting to murmur as he changed his 'message' that he was singing to them. "_Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You can see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you and always look on the bright side of life._" Whistling. "_Always look on the bright side of life_." More whistling. He repeated the last line a few more times and ended the song.

The crowd was startled, still, but clapped, nonetheless.

"Nine point five for the fact that it's embarrassing and funny," Vala said.

"Eight point five," Keller said.

"Dad, I still hate you, for one thing, but I guess I'll give you a seven point five," Elizabeth said.

"Seven point five?" Sheppard asked. "C'mon, Liz, I'm your dad! Don't I get bonus points?"

"Oh, in that case, negative seven point five points," Elizabeth said, smiling.

"Okay, sir," Cadman said as she came on stage. "Get off the stage. Time for me to introduce the next act." Sheppard grumbled something that Elizabeth didn't quite understand and exited. "That wasn't weird or anything. Just listen to his advice, though. He might actually be right. Now we have Teal'c from the SGC singing The Shake."

Teal'c came on stage and started to show the most emotion that Elizabeth had ever seen him show in all the years she had seen him in the future.

"_Some men are attracted to a pair of big blue eyes. It takes a pretty face to make their temperature rise. Looks aren't that important, just icing on the cake. What really turns me on is the shake. Shake it to the left, shake it to the right. Come on baby you know what I like. Shake it really funky, shake it real low, shake it til you can't shake it no more_," Teal'c sang. One of the scientists came up and started shaking it the way that he said to shake it. Teal'c shoved him off the stage with what looked like a tiny push but what was really a giant shove.

"_Eve first said to Adam which outfit do you like? The maple or the fig leaf? Now, honey, they both look nice. Clothes don't mean that much to me, you better go and ask the snake, and what really turns me on is the shake_."

Vala let out a whistle and cheered. Elizabeth shut her up. "Don't interrupt the singers. It's not polite."

"I'm not polite, what are you talking about?" Vala told her.

Teal'c finished up the shake and as soon as he was done he stood up in his usual straight pose with his hands behind his back.

"Well, Teal'c," Keller said. "That was really well! I give you… nine point five."

"Same here," Elizabeth said.

"Muscles, that was wonderful! Ten!" Vala said clapping her hands together. Everyone followed in her lead and Teal'c bowed and walked off the stage.

Cadman looked a little stunned when she got on stage. "That was really strange. Anyway, McKay is now going to sing about how it is all about him. Although he really isn't."

"How nice of you, Cadman," McKay said, sounding annoyed. He got up to the microphone. "Here we go. Oh, and Jennifer, I don't really mean all of this. I just wanted to sing this song." The music started. "_We talk about your work, how your boss is such a jerk. We talk about your church and your head when it hurts. We talk about your troubles you've been having with your mother 'bout your daddy and your brother and your crazy ex-lover. We talk about your friends and the places that you've been. We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin. And the polish on your toes and the run in your hose. God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes. You know talking about your makes me smile, but every once in a while, I wanna talk about me. I wanna talk about I, I wanna talk about number one, oh my me my, what I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see! How I like talking about you you you you usually, but occasionally, I wanna talk about me_!"

"I know he doesn't mean it, but it seems kind of weird to have him be singing this. Do you think that he actually thinks that we talk about me too much?" Jennifer asked.

"You're fine, Jen, seriously. If anything, you talk about him too much," Elizabeth said. Jennifer laughed.

"I think that I'd have to agree with you."

McKay finished up his song that really should've been directed at him.

"Honey," Jennifer said. "I have to give you an eight on that."

"Seven," Vala said.

Elizabeth smiled menacingly. "Negative six point eight. No questions asked." McKay stared at her like she was crazy.

Cadman came up and shooed him off stage. "Our last act tonight is Major Evan Lorne singing Footloose from the musical Footloose. How ironic."

Lorne came on stage with the other three members of his team while Cadman walked off the stage. One of the teammates took the bass, one keyboard, and the other sat down at the drum set while Lorne grabbed a guitar and started to play it.

"_I been working so hard. Keep punching my card eight hours. For what? Oh, tell me what I got. I get this feeling that time's just holding me down. I'll hit the ceiling or else I'll tear up this town. Tonight I gotta cut loose, footloose. Kick off your Sunday shoes. Please, Louise, pull me offa my knees. Jack, get back_," Lorne pointed at a startled O'Neill. Everyone gave a small chuckle. "_C'mon before we crack. Lose your blues, everybody cut footloose._"

"I never knew that so many of your people had such a talent for singing," Vala whispered.

"It's actually kind of surprising that they're this good. I never even knew that Todd could sing as well as he did. But I found out Lorne was good a few days ago when we had a party," Elizabeth told her.

"You had a party? I love parties," Vala said.

"I know, you told me. But he's better now, given the circumstances."

"Circumstances?" Vala repeated. "What circumstances?"

"He's not drunk this time."

Lorne continued with his teammates acting as backup singers. "_FIRST we gotta to turn you around. SECOND you put your feet on the ground. THIRD now I'll take a hold of your soul. FOUR Whoooooooooooa I'm turning it loose, footloose_." They repeated the chorus and finished the song up. The crowd cheered, again.

"I say nine," Vala said.

"Same," Keller agreed.

"I say nine point eight-two-five-one," Elizabeth said. Everyone looked at her. "What? I'm random, okay. It's in the genes."

Cadman came back on stage. "Great job, guys. Well, that wraps up tonight. Come back tomorrow for the girls' turn. And after that, we'll crown the winner. Have a good night."

The crowd dispersed and Elizabeth went up to her dad. He looked angry with her.

"Dad, I know you're mad at me, but you're the one who sang that stupid song in the first place," Elizabeth said in her sweetest voice.

"Don't start talking cute with me, missy. You're grounded," Sheppard said with finality.

"What?!"

A/N: Haha, I grounded her. It's fun to do that. Make me feel like a parent. Anyway, there's the chapter. Another long one. And I know the songs were not that great, but it's all I could come up with. If you have any suggestions for the girls' songs for the next chapter, I'd be happy to hear them. Especially for Vala and Teyla. Please leave a review, too! They're always appreciated.


	14. Atlantis Idol Part Two: Girlz Rule

Chapter Fourteen: Girlz Rule

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth/her friends/this story. The other people belong to other people. The songs belong to the following people, in order from the first song sung to the last song sung: Deniece Williams, Dixie Chicks, Weird Al (and yes, I know it's cruel, but Vala can sometimes be like that, as can Weird al), Bonnie Tyler, and I'm not precisely sure who the last one is by because I found it on YouTube but I know for sure that it was not written or sung or whatever by me.

A/N: Okay, so here's part two. I realize a lot of the songs for this two parter thing are from the musical Footloose, but that's because I recently watched it. That and I have the lyrics for all the songs on it, so that helps.

Elizabeth settled back into her seat. She wasn't allowed to judge tonight. Instead, her stupid dad (whom she hadn't forgiven yet for grounding her just because she gave him a negative number), McKay, and Daniel were judging, much to Daniel's dismay. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with this, but Vala forced him to do it.

Lorne, who was introducing, walked onto stage. The crowd quieted. "Thank you for coming tonight. Now, we have the results of the winner of the guys' run last night. Even though it was technically the judges who were judging, they didn't have anything to do with who won. It was instead decided by a secret agent whose name will not be known. In seventh place, a.k.a. last place, is McKay." The crowd clapped. McKay sulked onto the stage and took his small trophy. "In sixth place position goes to Teal'c." Teal'c came on stage and stared Lorne down. "Look, I'm sorry, dude. I had absolutely nothing to do with who won." Teal'c bowed his head and took his reward.

"Very well, Major. But I must say, whoever was responsible for this will pay," Teal'c said in a very serious tone. His usual tone. He walked off stage.

"Uh, right, so… where was I? Oh, yeah, fifth place goes Colonel Sheppard." Sheppard walked on stage and took his reward.

"I blame my daughter for this," he said into the microphone. _Oh, great,_ Elizabeth thought. _Now I get another week of my grounding_.

"Fourth place goes to Jack O'Neill," Lorne said. The general came up and happily took his prize. "Third place goes to my team and I. Hey, this is nice. Top three. Anyway, second place goes to… oh dear, there must be a mistake. According to this, there is no second place. It was simply a tie between Chuck, Hermiod, Novak, and Marks and Todd. Well, that settles it. There's no winner. Great." Chuck and Todd came up and took half of the prize each, which was a giant cookie that was ten feet in diameter. With chocolate, butterscotch, and vanilla chips.

"Right, with that out of the way, the first act we have from the ladies tonight is Amelia Banks singing Let's Hear it For the Boy."

Amelia came on stage and the music started up. "_My baby, he don't talk sweet. He ain't got much to say. But he loves me, loves me, loves me. I know that he loves me anyway. And maybe he don't dress fine, but I don't really mind. Cause every time he pulls me near, I just wanna cheer: Let's hear it for the boy! Oh, let's give the boy a hand. Let's hear it for my baby, you know you gotta understand. Maybe he's no Romeo, but he's my loving one-man show. Let's hear it for the boy!_"

Katie Brown, who was sitting next to Elizabeth, whispered, "Is she with Ronon again? I thought they were broken up."

"They got back together not too long ago, after a long apology from Ronon. Well, as long as he'll ever make it, with how much he talks," Elizabeth replied. Katie chuckled as Amelia finished up her song. The judges each gave her a nine.

"Great job, Banks," Lorne said as he came on stage and she exited. "Next up is Laura Cadman singing Cowboy Take Me Away."

Cadman came on stage and ushered him off. The music started. "_I said I wanna touch the earth. I wanna break it in my hands. I wanna grow something wild and unruly. I wanna sleep on the hard ground in the comfort of your arms on a pillow of bluebonnets in a blanket made of stars. Oh it sounds good to me. Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue. Set me free, oh, I pray. Closer to heaven above and closer to you, closer to you_."

"Is Lorne a cowboy?" Katie asked. Elizabeth sighed. Everyone just had to interrupt their acts. Why couldn't we just watch one without any interruptions?

"I don't know. Maybe he's from some sort of cowboy state or something," Elizabeth said through gritted teeth. Cadman finished her song and the crowd applauded. Sheppard gave her a ten along with Daniel but McKay said nine and a half.

As Cadman was exiting the stage and Lorne was coming on stage she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss. The crowd gave out wolf whistles and cat calls again. Cadman pulled away and walked off the stage, leaving a baffled Lorne there. He blinked his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Uh, yeah, um, thanks, honey. Anyway, our next act is Vala Mal Doran singing… The Night Santa Went Crazy. What the heck? Is this even a song?" Lorne asked Vala as she came on stage.

"Yes, it is. Now if you don't mind, get off the stage so I can sing," Vala said. Lorne shook his head in disbelief and got off stage. "This is the extra gory version, too. I find it sad and funny at the same time." The music started. "_Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys for the good gentile girls and good gentile boys when the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death. Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey in his breath. From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo and he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, 'Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!'_" Vala sang. There was a rumbling through the audience as they took in what Vala was singing.

"This is an absolutely cruel song," Katie said.

"Shh, let her keep singing," Elizabeth said, absolutely annoyed at this point.

"_Well the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it. Everywhere you go you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet. And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage and he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage. He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger and he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger. And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen and he took a big bite and said, 'it tastes just like chicken!_'" Security came on stage and dragged her off as the crowd shouted at her.

Lorne came back on stage quickly. "Sorry about that. We didn't know it was going to be that bad. Next up we have Colonel Carter singing Holding Out For A Hero."

Carter came on stage and was looking at Jack the whole time that she sang it. "_Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need. I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night. He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light. He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon and he's gotta be larger than life._"

Katie turned to her and asked, "Is she dating General O'Neill?"

That was the last straw for Elizabeth. "Will you shut up? I'm trying to listen to these songs and I haven't gone through one, not last night and not tonight, without being interrupted! Seriously, Katie, shut your blabbering hole!" Katie looked taken aback and she settled back into her chair and listened to Carter. Elizabeth thought that she was kinda harsh, but what she said was true. She'd apologize later.

"_Through the wind and the chill and the rain, and the storm and the flood, I can feel his approach like fire in my blood_," Carter sang. She repeated the chorus and the song ended. Everyone clapped. Daniel and Sheppard gave her a nine and half each and McKay gave her an eight and a half.

Lorne came back onstage. "Okay, folks, for the last act tonight, we have our very own Teyla singing… a surprise song. Well, whatever it is, here she is!"

Teyla came on stage and went up to the microphone. Elizabeth could tell what she was going to sing as soon as she saw her mom's face. It was a parody song, based on the alphabet song. "_A-B-C-D-E-F-G, Gummy bears are chasing me. One is red and one is blue, the yellow one just took my shoe. When I find them I will sue, then they will come after you_."

The crowd clapped, a little unsure of what just happened. The song lasted, like, ten seconds. Sheppard gave her a ten (figures) and McKay and Daniel gave her a nine each.

Lorne came on and said to the crowd, "Thanks for listening in tonight. The winner of the girls' turn will be announced tomorrow over the intercom, an hour before the rodeo show happens. If you would like to sign up, ask Woolsey. There will be cow wrestling, cattle roping, barrel racing, bull riding, and pretty much anything else that you find at rodeos. Have a good night."

Everyone got up and started to either leave or congratulate some of the people that sang. Elizabeth said a quick apology to Katie and went to find her mom. She quickly spotted Teyla was standing with Sheppard, Ronon, Jack, and Carter.

"Elizabeth!" Teyla said. "Isn't it past your bedtime?" She asked in a sarcastic voice.

Elizabeth smiled. "Hardy-har-har. And no, it isn't past my bedtime. It's only 23:56."

"Oh, crap, I have to go," Carter said. She started to run towards the door.

"Does your carriage turn back into a pumpkin at midnight?" Jack asked, amused. Carter gave him an un-amused look, thought you could see the humor dancing around in her eyes. Jack gave her a smile. "Okay, go ahead and leave." Carter turned around and started back towards the exit. "Just don't lose your glass slipper!" Jack called after her. He turned back towards the group. "Sorry to spoil the party, but I have to leave, too." He turned and walked out the same door Carter just left from.

Ronon spotted Amelia waving to him and he walked away from the Sheppard family. Teyla excused herself, spotting Cadman and Lorne across the room.

Sheppard looked at his daughter, who was staring around, not making eye contact and not speaking. "Elizabeth, listen, I might have been a little harsh about the grounding thing."

"You think?" Elizabeth asked, finally looking at him. She saw his serious face and added, "Sorry."

"Anyway, I've decided that you're not grounded anymore. It was stupid that I grounded you just because you gave me a negative number in a stupid competition that was really worthless. You're free now," Sheppard said. Elizabeth looked at him, surprised.

"Seriously? That's it?" Elizabeth asked him. He nodded and she jumped up and gave him a hug. "Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, Liz," Sheppard said, returning the hug.

A/N: Well, there's the random ending of Atlantis Idol. Touching, isn't it? Anyway, thanks for reading it! Reviews are kindly accepted!


	15. Yeehaw!

Chapter Fifteen: Yee-haw!

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I own Elizabeth/her friends/this story. Everything else belongs to other people. They get paid, but I don't. How sad.

A/N: Nice title, eh? Anyway, here's the rodeo that I mentioned in the previous chapter. I am really random, aren't I? Oh, and by the way, on my profile is a new poll that my friend (and co-writer) wanted to put up because she's absolutely obsessed with that pairing for no apparent reason. I know, she's insane. I tried to put that as one of the choices but she deleted it out. Anyway, please vote for it! And after this chapter, I'm going to write probably one or two more chapters and then one or two epilogue things, so yeah. Enjoy!

Elizabeth settled into her seat for the thousandth time this week. Her butt was getting sore from it. She would've entered in something, but as usual, her Dad was being overprotective and didn't want her to get hurt. Cadman took a seat on one side of her and Sam sat on the other side. Katie Brown sat behind her with one of her botanist friends.

"You know what I've come to realize over the years?" Sam asked. "We have one of the most hectic jobs in the world. My life is a never ending roller coaster and I just wanna get of this ride!"

"Hey, you think your life is hectic," Katie said. "In the years that I've been here, I've had quite a few absolutely weird things happen to me. On my first date with anybody here, the only reason he made the first move was because of Cadman, who, might I add, was stuck in his head. Then, a few years later, I almost get proposed to, and then he just says that he needs more him time. And now, to top it all off, I have a wraith in love with me! Tell me of somebody with a more hectic life!"

Sam and Cadman smuggled their laughs. When she finally got herself together, Sam said, "Okay, I agree with you. Nobody's life can top that."

Jack, who was announcing today, said over the intercom, "Settle down, settle down. Here are the winners of yesterday's girl version of Atlantis Idol: In last place, or fifth place, we have Vala Mal Doran, who really didn't deserve anything at all. But that was a humorous song." Vala came on the stage and took her prize. "In fourth place we have Teyla and her gummy bear song." Teyla came up, looking ever so slightly disgruntled, and took her prize. "In third place we have Miss Amelia Banks." Amelia, who was dressed up for her even that she was going to do, came up and grabbed her prize. "In second place," Jack's voice got low, "we have Lieutenant Cadman, which leaves Samantha Carter in first place." Cadman and Sam got up and went to get their prizes. Elizabeth noted that Jack gave Sam a kiss on her cheek and whispered something in her ear, making her blush. Sam took her prize, which instead of a giant cookie was a three thousand dollar gift certificate for a shopping spree back on Earth.

Cadman and Sam walked back up to their seats and waited for Jack to announce the first competition. It was cow tying, where the person had to ride a horse (which, along with everything else, was imported from Earth by the Daedalus) and jump off it, grab the cow, and tie three of its legs together. Whoever did it the fastest won.

Todd was the first one up. The buzzer sounded and both he/horse were released along with the cow. He steered the horse after it and he jumped off, landing on the cow. He then put his hand to the cow's chest and started to feed on it. Everybody gasped in horror. Sheppard went out and told him to stop. He looked up and it seemed that he didn't quite understand the directions. He said a quick "sorry" to everyone and he exited the arena/mess hall.

"Hey Katie, it looks like your boyfriend's been disqualified," Cadman said with a smile, turning around to see Katie. Katie stuck her tongue out at her. Cadman laughed and they looked back at the next person who was up, Kavanaugh. He failed, getting his foot stuck in the stirrup on the saddle. Someone helped him out of it. "Wow, everyone sucks at this."

Teal'c was up next. The buzzer barely even buzzed before he had the cow down with three of the legs tied. One of the newest members of the expedition was up next, and he got the cow tied, but he wasn't faster than Teal'c. A few other guys failed it, and by the end, Teal'c was the winner.

"Nice job, T," Jack said. "Our next competition is bull riding. Who can stay on for eight seconds and who can get their ass kicked and gored to the ground? Our first competitor is Colonel Steven Caldwell."

Caldwell got on his bull and didn't last two seconds before flying off into the audience, a few feet from where Elizabeth was. Woolsey was next, and he actually managed to last six seconds before he was dragged across the ground.

"Nice job, Woolsey," Jack said. Elizabeth could sense the hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Up next we have someone who just came through the gate this morning at about 0200 with his daughter and some other people who you saw earlier. Ladies and Gents, here is General Landry."

Landry got on his bull and lasted the full eight seconds. He could barely stand afterwards.

"Wow, Hank, way to ride the bull," Jack said. "Let's pretend I didn't say that." Everyone laughed. "Next is Colonel Mitchell." Mitchell got up and lasted eight seconds as well. "Ooh, I just love a tie. Let's see if he can stand!" Mitchell gave him a 'ha ha very funny' look and walked over to a seat next to Dr. Lam. She gave him a smile and he put his arm around her shoulders. Landry looked at him and he quickly put his arm by his side.

"Uh, I can't believe he's actually doing this, but next is Dr. Rodney McKay," Jack said, pulling Elizabeth's attention back to the arena. McKay glared at him but couldn't retort anything before the bull was released. He screamed and held onto his hat before being thrown onto the ground. The bull started to charge after him and he screamed, flailing around the arena. He jumped over the side of the gate and landed at Jack's feet. Jack laughed at him. "I knew this would happen. Our last competitor is Ronon Dex."

Ronon and the bull were released and about three seconds into it, he was about to be thrown when he got his gun out and shot the bull. The bull gave one last effort to throw him before sinking down to the ground. The crowd was roaring at him.

"What? I only stunned it," Ronon said.

"You're just as bad as Todd!" Someone shouted. The person went quiet when Ronon turned to glare at him.

Jack decided to interrupt then. "Right, well, it looks like there's a tie between General Landry and Colonel Mitchell. Okay, our last competition of the day is barrel racing." Everyone groaned at it being the last thing of the day. "Sorry, folks, but that's all we're allowed to do. The first person is Amelia Banks."

Amelia trotted her horse that she was using up to the starting line. The gun shot fired and she whirled the horse around the three barrels. She crossed the finish line and nearly ran right into the stand that Jack was using.

"Slow down, there, girl," he said. She laughed and walked off. "Dr. Alison Porter is next up." Porter came in point three seconds under Amelia, putting her in the lead. Some lieutenant person was up next but she didn't quite beat Porter. Dr. Lam was up next and she was point one second close to beating Porter. A few other people went up and still didn't beat Porter.

"Well, it looks like Dr. Porter is our winner. Congrats, kid," Jack said. "Thanks for tuning in. Sadly, this is our last day of—" he cut off as Chuck's voice came over the PA system.

"_Unscheduled off world activation_!"

Elizabeth jumped up and ran towards the control room, along with her dad, Woolsey, and a number of other people.

As she entered the control room, the wormhole _swooshed_ open in the same purple color that Elizabeth's had been.

"What the hell?" Landry, who came up as well, asked.

"We'll explain later, sir," Sheppard said. "Were you expecting any friends, Liz?"

Elizabeth shook her head. She watched as a girl that was just about her age with dark brown hair and blue eyes like her dad came through the gate, followed by a guy with reddish blonde hair and green eyes that was also her age. The gate shut down and she ran down to the gate room.

"Kevin, Jamie, what are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked.

The boy, Kevin, noticed her for the first time. He ran up and hugged her. Jamie hugged her after he pulled away.

Sheppard came down the stairs with Woolsey, Landry, Mitchell, Lorne, and Jack on his heels. Sheppard looked at the newcomers. "Elizabeth, who are these people?"

Elizabeth looked at him. "Dad, this is Kevin and Jamie, some friends of mine."

Sheppard's face turned slightly grim. "Kevin," he said through gritted teeth. "As in, my daughter's boyfriend." Kevin nodded. Sheppard glared at him. He didn't seem affected by it, as if he was used to it.

"Kevin and Jamie?" Lorne asked. "As in, my…"

"Yeah, hi Dad. It's nice to see you," Kevin said. Jamie smiled an ear to ear grin, not unlike her mom's. Kevin turned to Elizabeth. "C'mon, Lizzy."

"Where are we going?" Elizabeth said.

"It's time to go home."

A/N: Yay! There it is. Please review and vote! I realize a lot of you don't review, but no matter what, please vote on the profile. It'd help my insane friend quite a bit.


	16. It's Time

**Chapter Sixteen: It's Time**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: Gee, what do you think? Look at the previous chapters. I'm too lazy to write it all down.**

**A/N: Hey my many fans, I am back! Sorry it took a little longer than usual. I would've written sooner but my math teacher loaded us with forty one questions, which added to my social studies and my language arts homework. It took over an hour. And you can blame Rethahixe for the weekends because the one free weekend I had, she wasn't here! But yeah, other than that, here's the next chapter. I know it's pretty much just blabber-blabber, but I need to get this chapter out to explain everything else. After this will be a couple of epilogues, one being about a year later and the other being ten or thirty years later. I haven't quite decided yet. I think that I might just add in another chapter after this, but I don't want to give anything away. ANYWAY, I hope that you enjoy it!**

"Wait, what?" Elizabeth asked.

Before Kevin or Jamie could answer, Sheppard piped up, "You want to take her back to the future? Back to your time?" Kevin nodded. "So she fixed the problem?"

"Yeah, apparently," Jamie said. Her voice was soft and quiet. Very unusual for a Cadman kid. "About ten minutes after you left, Liz, Dad suddenly appeared and all of us started getting new memories. That and more kids started appearing out of nowhere, including some other random kids such as our little siblings. It was all very startling. But thankfully we all remembered that we had to come back and get you. Now, John," she said, turning to Sheppard. "I'm assuming that you would like to continue this interrogation of sorts in the briefing room, so might we head up there?" She gestured to the briefing room.

Sheppard, who was confused beyond belief, just nodded. He and the three kids headed up to the briefing room. Lorne quickly followed suit, leaving the others that had followed standing in the gate room.

Once they had all settled into their chairs in the briefing room, Sheppard asked, "So, Jamie, Kevin, can you please explain what the hell is going on here?"

Kevin cleared his throat. "Well, as Elizabeth probably told you, we needed to come back here to save Dad. Now that Dad's been saved, thanks to whatever she did, she needs to come back to her own place, her own time." He gave a quizzical look to Elizabeth. "Lizzy, what did you do?"

Elizabeth gave an edgy smile. "Uh, well, you know, I prevented the Athosian war by telling Mom and Dad about all the stuff that we went over before I left." She paused and recited at top speed, "And after that we went diving out of a jumper, watched as Dad and Evan got drunk and sang the strangest songs, had a talent show, had our very own Atlantis Idol, ate Chuck's scrumptious omelets, watched as Chuck and Amelia kicked Dad and Evan's asses to the ground and back, and at the party that Dad and Evan got drunk at, Todd ended up crashing it and finally, now he's in love with Katie Brown which is just plain weird and wrong and strange all at the same time."

Kevin and Jamie stared at her, open mouthed. Lorne was smuggling his laughter into his sleeve as Sheppard dismissed his as a cough.

Jamie was the first to speak. "You did all that and you didn't invite me?" There's the Cadman in her. "That is so mean!" The rest of them laughed out loud.

"I'm sorry, Jamie, but I didn't have the technology to contact you! Heck, I'm not even born yet. And I don't think that Torren would be able to do anything if you put out all the needed materials because the most he would do is eat it," Elizabeth said.

"Right, I should've known that. Sorry."

Kevin spoke up. "So, Lizzy, you ready to go?"

Elizabeth looked puzzled. "How?"

Jamie pulled something out of her back pocket. It looked familiar to Sheppard and Lorne. "We contacted the SGC and got the time travel device that they found a few months before you left on P4C-333, the half devil planet."

"Yeah I remember that. I thought that they didn't know how to use it?"

"That's what we thought, too. Turns out, though, that Carter did know slightly how to use it. A bunch of years from our future, Cassandra has to use it to send SG-1 back to their time," Kevin said.

"Was that when SG-1 was sent to 1969 due to a solar flare? The mission where they tried to get back with another solar flare but that ended up sending them too far into the future?" Sheppard asked.

Kevin and Jamie nodded. Jamie reached into her back pocket and pulled the device out. "All we have to do is dial our coordinates in about… oh, I'd say three minutes. Then all we have to do is step through the gate."

"Why three minutes? I thought that you could tell it to go to whatever time you wanted? At least, that's what the General O'Neill's mission report said," Lorne said.

"Yeah, I know, but I wanna get home as fast as I can. The Technicians are playing the Scientists today. I can't wait to see who wins!" Jamie smiled in amusement.

"The Technicians… Scientists…. What?"

"Oh, uh, we like to play sports and we have teams. Today the Technicians are playing the Scientists in football. They've played football against each other once, and it was the funniest thing in the world. Amelia was running with the ball and Zelenka was right behind her, about to tag her when Chuck, who was the center player or something like that, shoved him over and they scored a touchdown, ending the game with six to nothing," Jamie said.

"Okay, that's not weird or anything," Sheppard said. He stood up. "I guess it's time to go, Elizabeth." The rest stood and they headed to the control room/gate room. "Chuck," he said as he entered the room, "how was the rest of the rodeo?"

Chuck looked up from some pictures that he was looking at. "Katie dumped Todd. It was… hilarious to see his reaction. He almost, like, fed on her."

"Yeah, but that would've been really wrong," Amelia said from behind Chuck. "You know, reaching for the chest right after she dumps you." They all laughed.

"Righto," Sheppard said. "Dial the gate, Chu-- oh, wait, never mind." Chuck and Amelia gave him a confused look.

He walked down the gate room where the rest of them were waiting. He gave a nod to Jamie and she dialed up the address on the hand device thingy. The gate swirled open and the three kids stepped in front of it.

Elizabeth turned to Sheppard. She gave him a small smile. "See you later, Dad. Like, in nine months or so." Sheppard gave a small laugh and enclosed her into a hug. He couldn't believe that he was actually sad to see her go. She was right; he was going to see her in nine months or so when she was born, but it just wouldn't be the same.

Lorne was saying bye to Jamie and Kevin. "Um, I don't really know what to do now."

"Well for starters, when we're born, you can spoil us to death," Jamie said. "Worse than you did, or do, with Emily."

Lorne laughed. "No, that's not what I meant. It's just that I don't really know what to do. I mean, you are my kids, but it just feels so weird being here with you."

"We understand, Dad," Kevin said. He gave his dad a hug with Jamie. "It's been great knowing the old you. Tell Mom we say hi." Lorne nodded in conformation.

They all stepped back and took one last glance before stepping into the event horizon.

"I'm gonna miss her," Sheppard said, turning towards the stairs that led up to the control room.

Lorne gave his CO a look. "Now don't go all teary-eyed on me."

Before Sheppard could say anything in response, the gate started up.

"Incoming wormhole!" Chuck said.

"Oh, no," Lorne muttered, looking at the gate. Sheppard gave him a confused look, and then he noticed what was wrong: the gate was purple.

Elizabeth, Kevin and Jamie came through. The gate shut down behind them.

"Okay," Elizabeth said. "Dad we've got a problem."

"What is it?" Sheppard asked her, walking back down the stairs.

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be dead."

**A/N: Yeah, I know, cliffy. But hey, at least I updated, even though it was kinda boring. BUT I UPDATED! Now, if you haven't, like, gone on strike already, review please! I really do appreciate all the ones that I've been getting.**


	17. The Kiss That Started It All

Chapter Seventeen: The Kiss That Started It All

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: Yeah, look at Chapter Fourteen or something.

A/N: Hey, I'm back!! Yeah, so did you like the little spin-off sort of thing in the last chapter? I don't know what you'd call it, but whatever it was, did you like it? Anyways, here is the conclusion to the story before the epilogues come. Unless they're the conclusion. Whatever, you're probably not even reading this, you know, just skipped over it and started reading the next chapter. But all in all, if you are reading this, thanks, and just know that I wrote this for you. Or not.

"What do you mean, dead?" Sheppard asked Elizabeth.

"Dead, Dad," she retorted. "As in, heart stopped, not breathing, burned and ashes thrown into the ocean!!!"

"But… how… what..? How did it happen? How could you have killed yourself, Elizabeth?"

"I don't know! We just walked through the gate to the other side and they were all like 'whoa!' and we had no idea what they were all gawking at until Mom came up and asked if it was really me. I told her it was and she gave me this big hug so I'm like 'what up, Mom' and she told me I was dead. Some sort of revenge thing that Kanaan did since he was so pissed that he was totally dumped and that I was the child of Mom's new husband dude."

Sheppard and Lorne just started at her, eyes wide and mouths close to dropping with one eyebrow raised. Elizabeth looked furiously from one to the other.

"Um…" Sheppard finally replied. "Okay. That's… a bad thing."

"Of course it's a bad thing, you idiot!"

Kevin walked over to Elizabeth and put his hand on her shoulder. "Liz, calm down. You're scaring everyone."

"Don't tell me to call down, there, Mister!" She yelled, turning to face him and flinging her hair around. "You're not the one that's dead, now, are you?!"

Kevin backed away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, geez woman."

"Break it up, kids," Sheppard said. "Now, Elizabeth, how did this all happen? How did anti-Athosian War thing and saving the major's life turn into dead you?"

"That's the thing, we don't know!" Elizabeth said. Jamie cleared her throat and Elizabeth sighed. "But Jamie has an idea."

Jamie took a step forward. "Well, considering our situation, I think that by stopping the war, we stopped how Kanaan found out about you and Teyla. Without him knowing when he did and starting the war, he didn't find out until much later when Lizzy was alive, and the only way to get revenge was to kill Lizzy."

"So we have to have this war in order for Elizabeth to live?" Lorne asked. Jamie nodded. "So this means it's either Elizabeth or me that dies." He sighed. "I'll go."

"Actually, no," Elizabeth said in a calm voice for the first time. "Chuck gave me a very good idea. Since Amelia isn't pregnant, Evan won't have to guard her, and he won't end up dying."

Lorne blew out a sigh of relief. Sheppard gave a small smile and said in a serious voice, "But what about all the others that died in the war? Will they live? And what about other people that didn't die but will die this time?"

"It's a risk that we'll have to take," Elizabeth said. "Dad, you and Mom have to be caught in three hours on the balcony kissing. Kanaan is already hear with Torren. Just go and tell Mom everything. Don't worry, she'll know what to do."

Sheppard nodded and headed off towards Teyla's quarters.

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Sheppard and Teyla stood on the balcony, waiting for the signal from Elizabeth. When she gave it, Sheppard leaned in and kissed her. Kanaan came around the corner and stopped, frozen in his tracks.

"Teyla…." he said, startled. She broke off the kiss.

"Kanaan," she breathed out. He turned and ran off. "Wait, it isn't what you think!" She played her part perfectly. Just how Elizabeth had been told it had happened.

Sheppard turned toward Elizabeth, who was hiding behind a plant of some sort. "What now, Liz?"

"Now we just wait for Kanaan to spread the news to the Athosian village. Then comes the bloody part."

A/N: Yeah, shoot me for not making it louder. But I had to update as fast as possible. The next chapter shall be the war. THEN I'll do the epilogues. Thanks for the reviews! I'd appreciate even more!


	18. The Athosian War

Chapter Eighteen: The Athosian war

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth and whatnot.

A/N: Hey, I'm back! Thanks for sticking with me! Here is the Athosian War from Sheppard's POV.

"Okay, everybody set on the rules?" Sheppard asked the large group in front of him, consisting of just about everybody that was part of the expedition. They all nodded. "Good. Now, some of the SGC personnel are due to come in at anytime now."

Just as he finished saying that, Chuck's voice sounded over the intercom. "_Off world activation_!"

"Right on time," Sheppard muttered. He turned back to the group. "Everyone get into position! At approximately 13:00 hours, the Athosians will dial in and attack. We need everyone ready and armed. Move out!"

Everyone left and went to their assigned places. Sheppard turned to Elizabeth, who was standing next to him. "Elizabeth, I need you to take Emily and get out of here. You can go back to the SGC. They said that they'd keep you there until the time that you said the war would be over."

"Dad, I'm not leaving. I'm going to help," Elizabeth replied fiercely.

"No, you're not. I need you to get out of here. I can't stand losing you, Liz. Besides, someone needs to take Emily out of here. She can't stay. And you know as well as I do that Cadman and Lorne will have your head if anything happens to you."

Elizabeth gave a small smile, but her face turned serious quickly. "Dad, I know how much you want to save everyone, but I need to stay here. I can't stand not knowing what's happening. Furthermore, I know what happens, and I can help out with this, okay?"

Sheppard sighed. There was no way that he was going to win this argument. "Fine, you can stay. But if you get your ass handed to you, it's not my fault!"

Elizabeth smiled again and grabbed the last P-90 and vest. She ran out the door without saying another word. Sheppard shook his head in amazement at how much his daughter was like him. He then unclipped his P-90 from his vest and headed off towards his position.

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"Any minute now," Sheppard muttered. He was on the ground of one of the hallways, guarding the infirmary. Chuck sounded over the intercom once more, saying that it was the Athosian's IDC code. "About time." He clicked off the safety key on his gun and raised it up to get ready. He signaled for Lorne, who was across the hall from him, to get ready. Lorne nodded his head and did the same as Sheppard.

They heard gun shots and shouts coming from their radios. It was horrible, much worse than Sheppard had imagined. Elizabeth hadn't exactly said who else had died. How many were about to be lost due to a careless mistake?

"Colonel Sheppard," the radio sounded. Sheppard braced for the worst. "It doesn't look to hot out here. We've already lost ten men. I don't know how many of the Athosians are down, but all we know is that Kanaan is not among the dead. We're requesting back up immediately."

Sheppard sighed. "Copy that. Sheppard out." He turned to Lorne.

"Go, Colonel," he said. "I can manage right here. Anyway, you're needed out there." Sheppard stood up but hesitated. "Go, Colonel!"

Sheppard took one more hesitant look at him and ran down the halls towards the gate room and the control room. The gun shots and screams got louder as he got closer. A body flew right in front of him, and he recognized it as Mertoph, one of Teyla's friends. Mertoph didn't move, but lay still, dead.

Sheppard shook out all the negative thoughts and concentrated on getting to Kanaan and ending this as quickly as possible. He saw another figure go running in front of him. At first, he thought it was Teyla because of the hair color, but then he realized that it was Elizabeth. She took aim and shot one of the guys right in between the eyes.

"Nice shot," he commented. She nodded a thanks and continued shooting with pin point accuracy. Must be in the blood.

He rounded a corner and almost got run over by one of the other Athosians, Marclar. Marclar was after Major Teldy, the leader of the girl team that he encountered a few months ago. Teldy shot him in the arm, but he continued right after her.

Sheppard turned around just in time to shoot down an Athosian. He ran around the gate room and continued to shoot, trying to not kill anyone. He needed to find Kanaan, quickly. He shot down one that was in the way of the staircase up to the control room. In the control room, Amelia, Chuck, Ellen, and multiple other technicians were really kicking the Athosians' asses. He ran through them, assisting Amelia once, and headed off towards the directions of the balconies.

Kanaan wasn't at any of the balconies. Sheppard turned and ran towards the transporters. Elizabeth had said that it had been somewhere looking over the ocean that Kanaan was. If it wasn't the balconies, then it had to be the east pier.

Sheppard hit the east pier section on the map in the transporter. There was a flash of light, and the doors opened up to the east pier. Sure enough, Kanaan was standing there, looking out over the ocean. It was a wonder that he wasn't helping his people fight.

Kanaan turned at Sheppard's entrance. He gave him a look that had so much hate in it that Sheppard almost had to turn away. "Colonel Sheppard," he said, "what a pleasant surprise."

"Save the crap, Kanaan," Sheppard said, pointing his gun at Kanaan. "We both know why you're here. You want revenge."

"Of course I want revenge!" Kanaan shouted at him. They started to pace in a circle, ten feet apart from each other at all times. "Wouldn't you?"

Sheppard sighed. "Yes, I would want revenge, too, Kanaan. But at the stake of hundreds if not thousands of lives? No, I wouldn't do that."

"I never wanted anyone to die," Kanaan said.

"Well it's a little late for that! You started a war, Kanaan. A lot of your people and my people have died already because of it. This isn't solving it peacefully. Because of you, Teyla's best friend Mertoph is dead. Marclar is about to be dead, too, and it's all because you're angry with Teyla. You're angry with me, for certain. You're the cause of everyone's death. You're murdering them all!"

"No, Colonel Sheppard!" He shouted again. "I'm not the cause! You're the one who kissed her. I saw it!"

"It doesn't mean that you have to take it out on innocent people. If anything, you should be taking it out on either Teyla or me, not the whole city's population. This isn't solving anything."

Kanaan's voice got a little lighter. "I thought she loved me, I really did. But when I saw how happy she was when she was kissing you, how upset she was when I came in and saw, I realized that you were better suited for her."

"Then you should've left it at that."

Kanaan took a few steps forward. "I always win, and if it means killing you, then I'll proudly do it!" He lunged at Sheppard with a knife that he got out of his back pocket. Sheppard pulled the trigger on his gun and shot Kanaan. Kanaan took a small step back and fell backward onto the ground.

Sheppard ran over to him and kicked the knife aside. "This could've ended differently, Kanaan."

Blood was trickling out of his mouth; the bullet had gotten his lung. He managed to gasp out, "Make sure she's happy. I will get my revenge somehow, though. You wait, Sheppard, you wa--" He choked up blood and went limp.

Sheppard took a deep breath and let it out. He walked towards the transporter and made his way back to the control room. Everyone, Athosians and fellow crew members, were looking at him. Nobody was fighting anymore.

"Kanaan's--" Sheppard started.

"We know," Sergeant Mehra said. "We saw it all from up here."

The Athosians had their heads bowed down in what seemed like a silent prayer.

"Colonel," his radio sounded again. It was Keller. "I need you down in the infirmary stat." Her voice sounded urgent and worried.

Oh, no. "On my way!" He ran back towards the transporters and hit the infirmary section. The doors opened up and he ran into the infirmary.

Keller was hovering over a body. She was in the way of the head, so Sheppard wasn't exactly sure as to who it was, but it was definitely an adult male. "Mary, I need you to keep the oxygen flowing through his body. Get his blood moving." Mary nodded and did as she was told.

Sheppard noticed the other people in the room. Teyla was comforting a crying Cadman, which could only mean one thing. Sheppard looked back over at the body just as Keller moved out of the way so he could see the face of the dying victim and sure enough:

Lorne.

A/N: I know it wasn't exactly an all out war, but I thought Sheppard's POV was nice. And to add in a little dun-dun-dun twist, Lorne's dying!!!! Anyway, reviews are greatly cherished!!


	19. The Much Anticipated Happily Ever After

**Chapter Nineteen: The Much Anticipated Happily Ever After**

**By Technician Fan**

**Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth, Kevin, and Jaime and whatnot. Everything else belongs to other people, surprisingly. If only I could own them… then everyone would be much happier. **

**A/N: Yeah, so, thanks for all the reviews! There were some angry ones, seeing as Lorne is in the process of dying. Did I seriously just type that? Wow, that's weird. Anyways, here is the last chapter before the epilogue things. Remember: THERE WILL BE MORE AFTER THIS CHAPTER!!!**

**A/N2: this one had to be separate to answer anonymous reviewer's question. The reason why they couldn't just keep Kanaan in a holding cell is because things had to go as exact as possible and keeping him in a holding cell wouldn't have worked for some reason cause then he probably would've managed to escape and kill off somebody so they HAD to have the war. But very good statement, random person!**

Elizabeth ran into the infirmary to find Cadman in tears and Lorne's somewhat lifeless body on the infirmary bed while Keller and many other doctors worked to save his life.

Kevin and Jamie were right behind Elizabeth. Jamie was carrying Emily in her arms. She hid Emily's face from Lorne's body. The twins went over and comforted their mom with Teyla.

Elizabeth walked up to her dad and laid her head up against his torso while his arm wrapped around her shoulders in a half hug. After a few minutes, he gestured with his head for her to come with him out of the room. She followed him after taking one last look at her mom with the Lorne family all huddled in a group.

Outside the room, Sheppard kept looking down at his feet, his hands shoved in his pockets. Elizabeth could tell that he was trying to fight back tears himself. He finally spoke up. "Is this how it happened?" His voice was tight.

"No," Elizabeth replied. "This isn't anything like before. Not only because he wasn't guarding Amelia but also because he was killed instantly, Dad. You ran into the room, shot the Athosian, went over to him and found him dead. Keller couldn't get him back. This time, though… this time he actually has a fighting chance."

"A slim fighting chance," Sheppard murmured.

"But a fighting chance, nonetheless. Dad, I'm pretty sure that he's going to make it."

Sheppard nodded and headed back into the room. Elizabeth sighed and followed. Inside, Keller was taking off her gloves and walking over to Sheppard.

"I did the best I could. He's still alive, but he's not waking up from his coma. He's suffered three broken ribs, one of which nearly punctured his lung, and he has some internal bleeding. He's going to have to come out of this himself," she said.

Sheppard nodded and Keller went over to tell Cadman what she just told Sheppard. Cadman nodded as well and walked over to her husband's body. She grabbed his hand in hers and bit her lip, fighting back more tears.

Teyla came over to Sheppard and Elizabeth while the other kids went by their mother. Keller came over as well and the four of them left to give them their privacy.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Elizabeth was in the mess hall eating French toast. It had been three days since the Athosian War. Lorne was still unresponsive, and Keller said that it might be time to start saying goodbyes. As soon as he either got out of it or gave up fighting, they would have the funeral for all who had died.

The intercom sounded. "_Elizabeth Sheppard to the infirmary._"

Elizabeth got up and threw away her practically untouched toast. She made her way to the infirmary, both eager and frightened as to what she was going to find there.

When she walked into the infirmary, she saw Cadman laughing for the first time in… quite a while. She was talking to Lorne, who was sitting with his head propped up. Jamie and Kevin were sitting there as well, next to his bed, while Emily was sleeping next him in his arms.

"Hey, Liz," Kevin said as she walked up to them. She pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

"Nice to see you're back with us, Evan," Elizabeth said.

He chuckled and then winced in pain. "Uh, yeah, it's nice to be back. I kept hearing voices and I felt as though I was floating in the sky. It was like I was a cloud or something, and this one voice kept staying with me and telling me not to give up."

"Let me guess, it was Mom?" Jamie asked.

"No, it was Elvis," Lorne said. Everyone laughed. "He was also singing Don't Be Cruel."

"What'd I miss?" Sheppard asked. Elizabeth turned to see him, Teyla, McKay, Ronon, and Keller walking up. They all gathered around the bed.

"Apparently, Elvis means more to Evan than me," Cadman said.

"That's sad," Sheppard said. Cadman nodded in agreement.

"What's sad?" Another voice said from the doorway. Amelia and Chuck were walking in.

"I'll tell you at the next poker night," Cadman said.

"Okay. How're you doing, Major?" Amelia asked.

"Fine. Still a little sore and it hurts like hell to laugh, cough, and sneeze, but other than that, I fell pretty good. I had Elvis to help me along the way."

Amelia looked at him as though he was crazy. Cadman mouthed "poker night" and Amelia nodded her okay.

"Anything else to fix, Elizabeth?" McKay asked. "Or in some cases, screw up?"

"Hey, this isn't my fault!" Elizabeth retorted. "And no, I don't think there's anything else. Is there?" She asked Kevin and Jamie.

Kevin shook his head. "There shouldn't be. Kanaan's dead and Dad's alive. We pretty much fixed everything as far as I'm concerned. I think we're all set."

"Does this mean you're going home?" Ronon asked.

"Hopefully," Jamie said.

"Yeah, then we can get back and discuss our plans," Kevin said with a sly grin on his face.

Sheppard looked at him with a mixture of horror and anger. "Don't even think about it, you dirty rat!"

"What are you talking about?" Kevin asked. "I'm simply thinking that now we can get back to our plans on busting two of our teachers for the affair that they're having. What did you think I meant?"

"Uh…"

Kevin realized what he was thinking. "Dude, Liz and I don't have that kind of relationship. You don't have to worry about those kinds of things." Sheppard seemed to relax a little until Kevin added in for the sake of it, "Yet." Everyone except Sheppard laughed.

"Kevin, stop picking on the colonel," Cadman said softly. "He's had a rough week. It's not every day that your kid comes from the future, you participate in a bunch of wacky, fun-to-do things, and have someone you know very well almost die." Everyone stared at her. "What?"

"It sounds like he's not the only one," Keller finally said. When Cadman looked at her quizzically, she added, "It seems like you've been through that, too."

"Oh, that's true," Cadman said after she thought for a moment.

Everyone was silent for a few moments. Finally, Chuck spoke up. "Hey. Drs. McKay and Keller, when are you planning the wedding for?"

"Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about that!" Keller said in an exasperated tone. "I was so busy with other stuff that it must've slipped my mind."

"Mine, too," McKay said.

"That's a first," Ronon mumbled.

"Oh, well thank you, Mr. Caveman," McKay retorted. "Like you could remember that along with the formulas for how to calculate density with mass and volume, find the areas and perimeters of countless shapes, and be able to do massive equations in your head in a matter of seconds."

"McKay, none of us speak nerd like you."

McKay grumbled something incoherently. Then he cleared his throat and said, "I'm thinking that maybe somewhere between Christmas and the New Year. How's that sound, Jen?"

"It actually sounds nice," Keller said, "and romantic." She gave McKay a quick kiss on his cheek. Everyone gave an "aw" in a cute tone.

"Everything's the way it should be," Sheppard said, putting his arm around Teyla's shoulders.

"Uh, not quite everything," Lorne said, gesturing with his head towards Kevin, Jamie, and Elizabeth. "They still have to get back."

"We might as well go now," Kevin said, standing up. He gave his dad and mom a hug. "Bye." Jamie did the same after giving Emily a hug.

Elizabeth got engulfed in a big hug by her parents. She finally got free and ran towards the control room. Jamie and Kevin followed her. When she got up to the control room, she ran down the gate room steps and waited with her friends. The rest of them came down and said their goodbyes while Chuck dialed the gate.

As the gate opened up in a purple swirl, thanks to Elizabeth, Sheppard gave his daughter one final hug. "I'll miss you, Liz."

"I'll be born in a few months anyway, Dad. It's not that long," Elizabeth replied.

The three kids split off from the group and faced the gate. Kevin took Elizabeth's hand in hers and they stepped through the gate with Jamie by their side. The gate shut down after them.

"Here it is," Sheppard said. "Our much anticipated happily ever after."

**A/N: Ha! I'm done! Well, not completely done. There's still the epilogues, but those will be a breeze. Thanks for reading and please leave a review so I can know what you liked and didn't like. THANKS!**


	20. The Wedding, Reception, Bumper DC

Epilogue One: The Wedding, The Reception, and Bumper Dancers/Couples

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: I only own the story line and the future kids other than Torren. All the other characters belong to other people, as does everything else mentioned in this story.

A/N: Here's the first epilogue! IMPORTANT!! This is New Year's Eve and it's Keller and McKay's wedding. So, here it is!!

"Teyla, take Stacy," Keller said, handing her two month old daughter to Teyla as the music started. Teyla took Stacy in her arms as Emily walked down the make-shift aisle that headed into the gate room, throwing flowers, with Torren carrying the rings.

"Calm down. You don't want to be sweating off all that makeup at your own wedding," Cadman said from in front of her. She had baby Kevin in her arms while beside her, Lorne had Jamie. In front of them, Teyla was standing with Stacy and Sheppard was beside her with baby Elizabeth. And in front of _them_ were Mitchell and Lam, the latter one holding their baby daughter, Carmen. Sam and Jack were in front of them with their son, Jacob, named after Sam's father. The wedding was turning out to be with not only the usual bridesmaids, maid of honor, best man, groom, bride, etc, but it also had kids in it. Lots of kids. Elizabeth (older version that was back in her time) hadn't mentioned that there were that many kids in the future.

"Wait, where's my blue?" Keller asked, panicked. Amelia came up behind her and quickly handed her a blue necklace.

"Here," she said. "Now you have everything, right?"

"Yeah, my something old is my grandma's bracelet from her childhood; something new is this dress; something borrowed is the hair pin that Teyla let me borrow, and now the something blue is this necklace. I'm all set. I think."

"Calm," Sam said as she and Jack led the line of Keller's dearest friends. All the pairings walked down the aisle and the music twirled into the traditional march of the bride.

Woolsey came running in and quickly took Keller's arm, acting as the "father of the bride." They marched down the aisle to where Rodney was standing under the gate itself with Todd, who was acting as the minister. Woolsey handed Keller off and stood to the side with the other guys.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this most joyous occasion to witness and bless the joining of this man, Rodney McKay, and this woman, Jennifer Keller, in holy matrimony," Todd said. He continued on for a bit, reciting from the book that he got just for this occasion. "If anybody has a reason as to why these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace." He waited, but nobody spoke up. "Take hands please," he said to Keller and McKay. They did so. "Do you, Rodney, take Jennifer to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for rich for poor, in sickness and in health? To love and cherish as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," McKay said, smiling at Keller with such happiness in his eyes.

"Do you, Jennifer, take Rodney to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for rich for poor, in sickness and in health? To love and cherish as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Keller said, her voice cracking up a bit as happy tears came to her eyes.

"Rings, please," Todd asked Torren. Torren handed him the rings and Todd continued. McKay and Keller each said their vows and placed the rings on each other's fingers. Todd said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife." He turned to McKay. "You may now kiss the bride."

McKay gave a quick short laugh with Keller before taking her in his arms and kissing her. The crowd cheered. When they broke apart, they led the row of people down the aisle before walking towards the mess hall, where the reception was taking place.

"Here's the first dance for the newlyweds," Caldwell said as he flicked on a song, which happened to be My Girl by The Temptations.

"Dance, dance, dance, dance!" Everyone chanted, trying to get Keller and McKay to dance. They finally surrendered and went out to the dance floor as the song went on.

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May. I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl, talking 'bout my girl, my girl," the song went. Other couples started to join them out on the dance floor.

The song ended with, "I've even got the month of May with my girl," and faded. Another song came on and everyone had a chance to dance with either the bride or groom.

"Hey, Atlantis, how's it going?" Major Marks asked into the microphone. Everyone in the room cheered. "In five minutes, we'll be celebrating the new year. So now, time for cake!"

A bunch of chefs came out, wheeling a cart with a huge cake. Everyone started whispering about it, because it wasn't your usual layered cake. It was only one layer, but still round. When it came up to the baffled McKay and Keller, they took one look and laughed. It was a shaped like a stargate. It had chevrons and everything on it.

"Wait, that's not it!" Amelia said into the mic'. "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, I made a bunch of omelets, and nothing blew up!" Everyone cheered for her. A few more chefs came out with trays on carts.

Keller and McKay decided to take a taste of the omelets first. They each took a fork and dug into one of the omelets. As they chewed, their faces revealed that it was delicious. "Oh my god, Amelia, this is amazing!" Keller said. McKay nodded his approval and agreement.

Next, they each took a piece of cake and shoved it in each other's faces. Everyone laughed and there was flashing from cameras all around them.

"Hey, Jen, look over here," Dr. Lindsey Novak said, holding up a camera to take a picture of Keller and McKay's face covered in cake. They turned towards her and before they could try and get away, Novak had the picture. "This is so going on facebook."

"Don't you dare," Keller said in a fierce tone.

"Oh, I so will."

"Be nice, Lindsey," Marks said. He grabbed the camera away from her. She pouted out her lip but said and did nothing.

Anyone who wanted cake or omelets got their pieces and ate it, socializing at the same time. Keller and McKay were sitting with Sheppard, Teyla, Cadman, Lorne, Ronon, Amelia, Jack, Sam, Mitchell, Lam, Daniel, Vala, Chuck, and Teal'c. They were all chatting while the kids played together in front of them.

"Ten seconds!" Marks said into the mic'. Everyone started to count down.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!" Everyone cheered in the new year and they all got up to dance again to the new song, Happy New Year by Abba.

"Listen up!" Jack said into the mic all of a sudden. "We're going to play a little game. I know you usually don't play games at weddings, but then again, this isn't a usual wedding. So, without any further ado, whatsoever, everyone get into a big circle, standing next to your date for tonight."

Confused, they all got into a circle, waiting for further instructions. Jack came down and stood in the middle of it. Sam stood beside him, also befuddled by what he was doing. "I made up a little game. You all know what bumper cars is, and you all know it's fun. Now, we're going to play bumper couples, or bumper dancers. The last couple standing wins." People started to murmur around him. "Shut up! That's an order. Everyone, get ready to waltz your hearts out and kick other people's asses!" The music, a waltz as Jack said, started up and the couples whirled around, bumping into each other. Within five minutes, half of the couples were knocked down and sitting off to the side.

Jack and Sam, laughing hysterically, rammed into Teyla and Sheppard, knocking them over. Baby Elizabeth, off to the side with the other kids and out of harms way, laughed and clapped at the sight of her parents getting knocked over. Chuck, who was with Sergeant Dusty Mehra for the occasion, knocked Jack and Sam over in turn.

Jack grumbled something and got up off the floor. He smiled anyway and went over to the microphone to do the commentary.

"It looks like we're down to five couples already: the bride and groom, Chuck and Dusty, Mitchell and Lam, Marks and Novak, and Amelia and Ronon. Scratch that, Mitchell and Lam just got bumped out by Amelia and Ronon. Who's going to win out of the last four-- no, three? Keller and McKay just got knocked over by Chuck and Dusty," Jack said, watching in awe at how quickly his game was going. "Oh, that looks like it hurt!" he said as Chuck and Dusty were practically mauled by Ronon and Amelia. "Now which of these last two will win?" They all watched as, while Ronon and Amelia were doing a quick celebrating of their knock over, Marks and Novak whirled around and caught them by surprise. They fell to the ground and everyone cheered. "We have a winner!" Jack said.

Novak and Marks hugged each other. It was only seconds later that they were joined by the rest of the expedition in a big group hug. They all laughed and finally dispersed.

The music started up again with the Cotton-Eye-Joe. Everyone formed a line and danced the traditional dance.

"It's always said that the best man has to say something at the weddings," Sheppard said finally. "So I'd like to make a toast. To Keller and McKay, may your life be filled with as much happiness as mine has been so far, and may you be prosperous when it comes to life, love, and health. Thus I say, to Keller and McKay!"

"To Keller and McKay!" Everyone echoed. They drank some of their champagne.

"That was touching, Colonel," Keller said in a suspicious voice. "A little too touching." Everyone turned their heads to Sheppard.

"What?" Sheppard asked. He finally subdued after his wife gave him one of her famous glares of truth. "Okay, so I got it off of the internet. But who cares? It was the thought that counts."

"That's the point, John," Teyla said. "There was no thought in that. It was just a double click, click, type, search, click, read, and find something worth saying."

"It's harder than it sounds!" Sheppard said. A few people gave small laughs.

"Right," Jack said sarcastically. "When pigs fly, Sheppard, when pigs fly."

"To tell you the truth," Sheppard said. "The first part, the one about the happiness and how I hope that there's as much as there has been in my life, was something I came up with. I'm so lucky to have my life. I have a wonderful wife, an amazing little step son, and a gorgeous daughter all to myself. Not to mention my many friends, starting with my wife, Ronon, McKay, Keller, O'Neill, Carter, Amelia, Chuck, Cadman, Lorne…"

"We get it!"

Sheppard laughed. "I just want you to know that some things in life are worth more than others. Just remember, friendship over work."

Everyone repeated him. "Friendship over work!"

A/N: Don't ask about the ending. That was really random. I just needed a way to pull it all together. It's weird, isn't it? Tell me your opinion, though. Leave a review please! Remember, it's that little green button that you click on that says "Review story/chapter." You should click on it! PLEASE???? :D

THIS IS STILL NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER! THERE WILL BE ONE MORE EPILOGUE (TEN YEARS LATER) AFTER THIS AND THEN IT WILL END. Thanks, have a nice day!


	21. Christmas

Epilogue Two: Christmas

By Technician Fan

Disclaimer: Look at previous epilogue.

A/N: Here it is, the final installment for Omelets Lead To Purple Wormholes L. Anyway, another little IMPORTANT thing for you to know: This is ten years after the last epilogue. A lot of things are different, so I will be describing the characters new looks a little, tiny bit. Only if they're different. Thanks to all my readers for reading, especially **Eplen91** and **Nile's Daughter** who have been with me all if not almost all of the time! So, without any further ado whatsoever…. The last chapter….

"Wake up everyone! It's Christmas! Time to go open the presents!" Joe Sheppard shouted at the top of his lungs. That little three year old had quite a big set of lungs.

John Sheppard, his father, let out a muffled groan against the pillow. Teyla, getting up from beside him, said, "He's inherits this from you, you know." Sheppard sat up and threw a pillow at her. She laughed and put on her robe and slippers before walking around the bed to where he slept and shaking his arm. "You heard him, get up." He gave another groan and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Fine," he said, standing up. He yawned and stretched his arms. Looking back down at Teyla, he said, "Merry Christmas," before giving her a kiss.

A chorus of, "Ew!" came from the doorway. He broke the kiss and turned around to see their two youngest kids, Joe and Eileen, standing in the doorway. They all had disgusted looks on their faces. Teyla and Sheppard laughed before walking over to them.

"Let's go, kids. Time to open up your presents," Sheppard said, rubbing his bearded chin a bit and herding them into the space where the tree had been set up. Atlantis now had more family rooms in it, seeing as almost everyone had a big family these days.

"Presents!" The two yelled, sitting down by the Christmas tree. They knew better than to grab one of their presents. Torren, nearly a teenager now (yikes!), Elizabeth, now ten, and her eight year old brother, Aidan, were already sitting down.

Sheppard and Teyla sat down next to them. Eileen climbed over and sat down on Teyla's lap. Teyla gave a smile and let her sit on her knee. Joe sat on Sheppard's lap, which was a mistake. As soon as he was settled in, Sheppard started tickling him. He giggled and after a few more seconds, Sheppard stopped tickling him. Joe gave a final laugh and lay up against his father's stomach.

"Are you two done?" Elizabeth asked. "I'd like to start opening presents now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, youngest to oldest, one present at a time," Sheppard said. Joe grabbed a present and sat down. He gave the present to his father so that he could read it. "It says to Joe from Mom." Joe ripped off the paper to reveal a box.

"All I get is a box?" Joe said, his lower lip pouting out and his eyes starting to glisten with fresh tears.

"Honey, you have to open up the box to get the present," Teyla said.

Joe opened up his box and pulled out what was inside. It was a race car. Also there was a headband attached to it. "What is it?"

"You put the headband on and whatever you think, the car will do it. If you want it to go in circles, it'll go in circles. If you want it to chase something, it'll chase something. If you--"

"Mom, we get it," Torren said.

"Can I try?" Joe asked. Teyla nodded and he put the headband on. His face started to turn red as he thought really, really hard, scrunching up his face. He finally stopped to take a breath and look up. "It's not working! I keep telling it to pop out a sandwich, but it won't do it!"

Teyla and Sheppard laughed. Sheppard said, "You tell it a direction and it goes that direction. You can't make food or anything else like that. You just tell the car to go to a certain place in a certain direction, and it does that."

Joe thought again and the car spun around and went flying into Elizabeth. "Hey!" she shouted.

"Joe, be nice to your sister," Teyla said. "Eileen, you're next." Eileen, six years old, went over and found a present with her name on it.

"It's from Mr. Woolsey," Eileen read. She ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal a small case. She took the top off to reveal a shiny necklace and a note. She picked up the note and read, "Dear Eileen: This is a … neck… lace made of … shells from the mainland. I hope you… en… enjoy. Sin… sin… Mommy, what's that word?"

"Sincerely," Teyla said. "It says Sincerely, Mr. Woolsey. Want me to put on your new necklace?" Eileen nodded and Teyla clipped on her necklace. "There, you look very pretty. Be sure to thank Mr. Woolsey." Eileen nodded.

"I'm next!" Aidan said, looking through the presents to find something for him. He grabbed a strange shaped one and looked at it. "There's no name as to who it's from," he said. He shrugged and ripped off the paper. It was a football signed by Moss from the Patriots and a baseball signed by Matt Damon from the Yankees. "Whoa!" Aidan shouted. "These are so rare! You can't find anything signed by either of these two anymore!"

"Hey, Braniac, there was a note with it," Elizabeth said, picking up a piece of paper. "It reads: Dear Aidan, I hope you like the baseball and football. I've had them for a while now. Just a reminder that you'll want to be playing these, not that stupid game called golf that your father says is a sport. Sincerely, Ronon. Well, at least we know who gave it to you."

"'Stupid game called golf that your father says is a sport?' I'm gonna kill him!" Sheppard said. When Teyla glared at him, he said. "Figuratively, of course."

"Finally, my turn," Elizabeth said. She grabbed a box and opened up the card that came with it. "Dear Elizabeth, I know how much you wanted these, so I got them. I hope they're in your size. Love Amelia." Elizabeth lifted the top off the box and screamed. "OMG!" She pulled out a pair of shoes. "I love them!"

"Right, now that your crazy moment is done, can I open up my present now?" Torren asked. Teyla nodded and he grabbed one. "It's from Lorne, Cadman, and all those kids." He opened it up and pulled out three records. "Oh yeah, now I have more for my collection!"

"Which records are they?" Sheppard asked.

"Uh, the greatest hits for the Beach Boys, Herman's Hermits, and the Beatles." Torren read off. He grabbed a present and handed it to Teyla. "Here, Mom."

She looked at it and then at Sheppard. "It's from you," she said, raising an eyebrow like she did in the good ol' days. She opened up the box. "It's a book."

"Not just any book," he said, opening up to the first page. "It's a book of our lives together, starting from the day we met. It goes all the way up to last year. I didn't have time to put this year in, so sorry about that, but it's still good enough--" Sheppard was cut off when Teyla leaned over (as best she could with Eileen on her lap) and hugged him.

"It's wonderful, John," she said, her voice cracking up a bit.

"Are you crying?" Sheppard asked her. She shook her head as she pulled away and gave his head a playful slap.

"Shut up and open a present," she said. He gave a chortle and Joe jumped up and seized a gift for him.

Sheppard said, "It's from McKay. I hope it's not anything dangerous." He unwrapped it, with the help of Joe, and looked at the label on the box. "Well, isn't that nice of him? He got me a hat for golf that says 'World's Best Dad' on it. It's too… un-McKay-like… Keller must've gotten it."

"John, be nice to him," Teyla said. "He is your friend and has been for the past fifteen years. Be grateful."

The Sheppard family finished opening up presents before heading to the mess for breakfast with the other families. When they arrived, four year old Meghan Lorne ran up to them.

"Look what Mommy got me for Christmas!" she said, spinning around in her new, sparkly, light green dress, her dark hair bouncing twirling with her. Her blue eyes looked up at Sheppard and Teyla.

"You look like a princess, Meghan," Teyla said, smiling at her. "Where are your parents?" Meghan pointed over to a large table where the Lorne family, the McKay family, and the O'Neill family sat. They were laughing and enjoying their breakfast, which was omelets.

The Sheppard family plus Meghan walked over and took their seats. Chuck and Amelia walked over to them with omelets in their hands.

"We're having a war as to whose omelets are better," Chuck said. "Just rate it on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best; it'll make things easier." He placed his omelets in front of Sheppard, Aidan, and Eileen, while Amelia gave hers to Teyla, Elizabeth, and Joe. Torren got half of each. Amelia and Chuck walked away after.

"Open up," Cadman was saying to the latest edition of her family, Rose, who was born a few months ago. Rose opened her mouth and Cadman put in the spoon with the baby food. "Morning," she said, looking over at the newcomers. "Have a good Christmas so far?"

"Yeah, it's been great. I made Teyla cry," Sheppard said. Teyla punched him hard in the arm.

Sam, morbidly obese since she was eight months pregnant, looked up at him. "John, that's mean."

"Not in that way. She cried over one of the presents that I gave her. She won't admit it, though."

Stacy McKay snorted. Keller gave her a glare, a mother glare, which is the worst glare of all. Stacy shut up and continued eating.

Sheppard suddenly felt someone poking his side. He looked down to see Charlie O'Neill the second, named after the first Charlie O'Neill that died. "Can you tell us a story?" he asked.

Sheppard picked him up and sat him down on his lap. "Sure. What kind of story do you want to hear?"

"A story from before I was born. A good story! One that's got Daddy's sense of humor in it and Mommy's brains," he said. Sheppard smiled.

"I have just the one," Sheppard said. Chuck and Amelia came over with Ronon in tow. They sat down just in time to hear his story. "It was just an average day. Amelia was telling Chuck that she made an omelet that was good."

"I lied, sir," Amelia said, her face growing red. "I made an omelet, but it tasted like crap. My first real good one was at McKay and Keller's wedding."

"Okay, so Amelia was lying. She then told a story about how she blew up the dishwasher. All of a sudden, the stargate started up and swooshed open, but instead of being blue, it was purple…"

**THE END.**


	22. Author's Note

**Hey!!! **

**In case some of you don't know, the sequel is up and done. It's called "It's Christmastime Again" and is now done, but I figured that in case some of you don't know, it's up. I might... just might.... be writing a second sequel, but you guys would have to help and give me ideas...**

**Thanks!!!!**

**-Technician Fan (Radmoxe)**


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